I think something a lot of people don’t realize is that transitioning is not the end of the story. You still have to live in the same exact shitty world, with all the same hate, all the same bigotry, all the hostility. And if your post-op presentation doesn’t pass the stringent “do you look cis enough” high standards of society? Welp, your life is now on extra hard mode. All the people you know that are already transphobic will probably still be just as transphobic after you transition, if not worse. People de-transition for a lot of reasons but I wouldn’t be surprised if the main reason is the pressure to present as either their pre-transitioned selves or to present as a perfect ideal of gender that no one can clock.
My understanding is the majority of detransition occurs due to financial reasons. So basically “I can’t afford my HRT anymore,” or “I can’t afford top surgery right now so I’ll go back to presenting as a woman,” or what have you. Then once the financial issue is gone a lot of those resume transition.
Full on “I thought I was trans but I’m actually not” detransition seems to be pretty rare. Almost like the current standard of care does a pretty good job at weeding out the people for whom transition isn’t the best treatment option. But to the conservatives who’ve decided this is their new culture war front if literally a single person ever regrets their transition, that’s enough to ban it for everyone.
That’s such a good point, you’re not free from the financial burdens post-op. I’m just a freshly cracked egg so I’m still learning. I was going off of the convos I’ve had about the post-op life with friends and strangers in trans forums. A lot of the discussions around de-transitioning focused on the pressure to “be the person we knew” from people in their lives and also the pressure to reach a nigh impossible ideal of gender from society in general.
I would not blame anyone for going back into the closet because they can’t take the constant abuse. It’s really sad that they feel the need to do that, but I do not blame them at all. This society we live in is horrible to so many people.
One of the stories I heard of someone who detransitioned was that they were in collage when they decided to transition. They lived in the dorms and well word very quickly got around. A group was organised including all of their friends and classmates who would take turns standing outside their dormroom door louding praying for them to detransition. The collage staff were no help, they’d helped organise the effort in the first place. After several months of this they gave in and went back into the closet.
I think something a lot of people don’t realize is that transitioning is not the end of the story. You still have to live in the same exact shitty world, with all the same hate, all the same bigotry, all the hostility. And if your post-op presentation doesn’t pass the stringent “do you look cis enough” high standards of society? Welp, your life is now on extra hard mode. All the people you know that are already transphobic will probably still be just as transphobic after you transition, if not worse. People de-transition for a lot of reasons but I wouldn’t be surprised if the main reason is the pressure to present as either their pre-transitioned selves or to present as a perfect ideal of gender that no one can clock.
My understanding is the majority of detransition occurs due to financial reasons. So basically “I can’t afford my HRT anymore,” or “I can’t afford top surgery right now so I’ll go back to presenting as a woman,” or what have you. Then once the financial issue is gone a lot of those resume transition.
Full on “I thought I was trans but I’m actually not” detransition seems to be pretty rare. Almost like the current standard of care does a pretty good job at weeding out the people for whom transition isn’t the best treatment option. But to the conservatives who’ve decided this is their new culture war front if literally a single person ever regrets their transition, that’s enough to ban it for everyone.
That’s such a good point, you’re not free from the financial burdens post-op. I’m just a freshly cracked egg so I’m still learning. I was going off of the convos I’ve had about the post-op life with friends and strangers in trans forums. A lot of the discussions around de-transitioning focused on the pressure to “be the person we knew” from people in their lives and also the pressure to reach a nigh impossible ideal of gender from society in general.
I would not blame anyone for going back into the closet because they can’t take the constant abuse. It’s really sad that they feel the need to do that, but I do not blame them at all. This society we live in is horrible to so many people.
One of the stories I heard of someone who detransitioned was that they were in collage when they decided to transition. They lived in the dorms and well word very quickly got around. A group was organised including all of their friends and classmates who would take turns standing outside their dormroom door louding praying for them to detransition. The collage staff were no help, they’d helped organise the effort in the first place. After several months of this they gave in and went back into the closet.
That’s horrible. I hope they finally got to be who they really are.