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Whether this is satire, or the “give us $1 or else” article is, or they’re both dead serious… this is peak Onion.
In an age where reality is such bullshit that real life articles sound more like The Onion than The Onion, it is exactly what we need. I embrace our new deeply layered pungent overlords.
I hope this goes as well as it’s being marketed to be, but I’ve long since stopped trusting people who have enough money to make a news-worthy purchase. Time will tell on this one for me.
this was my first tought. the discourse is also the same every time: oh we wont change anything about it! proceeds to change everything about it for the worse
What’s the catch.
I am $1 poorer
Is that for real or has the takeover made that unnecessary? Can’t tell anymore is they’re serious
Anymore? The onion is, and always has been, dead serious.
Even the jokes.
Especially the jokes.
“Me? A subversive political agent? No I am just a simple tailor as you can see, look around my shop and all you will find are handmade jokes created by the best craftsman in the Alpha Quadrant”
Jokes you say hmm?
Already, our trained technicians are navigating through the website and deleting every instance of the letter “T.” Soon, they will move onto the letter “E.”
Haha, guess I could have read it a bit closer
Yah I would hink so
Bu he onion news nework needs he leer E!
Bu h onion nws n work nds h lr !
Oh shi.
That seems to be their article announcing the takeover, if so, that’s a pretty great way to prove they have the same sense of humour and intentions.
Also, looking forward to new episodes of onion news network. Hope they can get some of the original staff back too, the “morning show” hosts were awesome.
That fucking iWheel keyboard had me dying when it came out. “with a single button you can type anything you want.”
Who did the Mactini video? They’ve got a similar ‘one button to type’ gag.
I’m not sure If this is more satire by the onion or not
Here’s the NYT article https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/25/business/media/the-onion-sold.html
The name Global Tetrahedron is, in true Onion fashion, a winking reference to a sinister fictional company featured in the book “Our Dumb Century,” which was written by The Onion’s staff and published in 1999.
I love that book. I often think about the article from 2000 about all the world’s corporations merging into OmniCorps and how close that is to becoming a reality.
The onion should be a worker’s collective given that the best satire comes from groups without ulterior motives and outside influences. No reason it should be possible for any company to lay off a majority of its workforce without fully going under and becoming a failed business.
Hope that’s not an onion article
Thank god! Their recent low budget, low effort short form videos have not been good
Who is that guy?
Journalist formally of the daily beat and later NBC. NBC apparently pulled him from covering Twitter last year after he said something about about Elon on his personal social media accounts.
Well, he’s going to have a hard time coming up with satirical roasts about Musk that won’t be overtaken by reality the next day.
I’ve said for years that the onion should periodically publish real articles just to fuck with people, and ever since Mango Mussolini it wouldn’t even need to change much to do so.
Isn’t the Onion the one that reposts the school shooting article with only the date changed everytime a shooting happens in the states? To my knowledge its a real news article
Edit: Found it, it seems though the last time they updated it was in 2022, but its basically a non satire response to the fact that absolutely nothing is being done to deal with the state’s problem with mass shootings
What do you mean, nothing is being done? They’re giving more people guns! Surely that will solve the problem!
No no, fakes names and misattributed quotes means it’s satire
It’s so true too. The last decade exposed a lot of the bullshit society deals with is so absurd it’s stranger than fiction.
I hope they bring back Michael Falk
He was my favorite. I still think about him every so often.
2024 is going to be simultaneously the best and worst year of all time
If they have a bunch of articles completely dragging this new CEO I will pay for a subscription.
The first half of the 20th century has entered the chat.
So we’ll get the videos back? Excellent!
Sony’s Stupid Box Thing was epic.
I’m here for it if it’s as described.
Bring back Lake Dredge Appraisal!
deleted by creator
Clickhole started out good but was the beginning of the end of the Onion being one of the essential sites on the web. It was evidence that they were chasing the trends instead of creating them.
The movie was about 4 years previous. That was awful, but Clickhole was the beggining.
