I’ve been on both sides of it, as much as I hate to admit that. I can’t tell you anything that will stop your immediate hurt or pain, nor give you an answer on what you should do. Ultimately you are the only one who can decide where you go from here.

I will observe, however, that your trust in this person seems to be fractured (both due to this incident and past incidents), and that’s not something that can easily be overcome. It can be overcome, but it requires intentional and ongoing work by both parties, as well as a lot of time. And even then, things won’t ever be the same (that’s not to say they can’t be good or that they’ll be bad, they’ll just be different).

Along with this, there seems to be an acknowledgment on your part that your partner’s character is likewise not up to par (regardless of whether or not this was to happen again), which is something not to be brushed off lightly if this is an important quality in a partner for you.

At the end of the day, only you know what the best answer is for you. There should be no shame or fear regardless of what you end up choosing, though it’s natural to feel that way at first when confronting the decision(s). You’re human, though, and caught in a really shitty situation. Give yourself grace and space. Don’t feel pressured to make up your mind or make a decision on anyone’s timeline but yours. This person broke your trust multiple times and if they can’t handle your decision or try to make you feel guilty for how you process (so long as you’re not being harmful or destructive of course), then that should be an answer in and of itself imo.

Good luck and feel free to ping anytime to chat. I’m sorry you’re going through this now, but this too will pass.