• ULS
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    67
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    Same with porn. But I’m building a shake-power generator for fleshlites so it should balance out the power it pulls. Saving the earth one jack-off at a time.

    Charging a hybrid car battery only takes 253.4 jerks. Pretty soon we will be expanding our charging service to parking lots across America and Canada! Most of them already have people willing to do it for you already …they were doing it there anyway… Win/win.

    Powerjerk ™, we make perverts work for you!

    Just roll up and say “Hey Jagoff, I need to get to x!” And you’ll promptly be taken care of.*

    *Do not give them drugs to speed up the process. We are serious about our drug-free workplace.

    Edit: steal my idea and I’ll find you

    • XeroxCool@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      26
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      Energy isn’t free. More power captured from jerking will increase food consumed, meaning more energy used in farming. You’ll have to brand this as either a carbon capture fapture system or as a weight loss program

      • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        4 months ago

        1 kilowatt hour is about 870kCal.

        Humans are incredibly inefficient power generators. I can buy 1kWh of electricity from the grid for about 18 cents (generation…transmission is extra).

        I don’t think I can buy 870kCal of food for 18 cents. Certainly not a healthy source. And that’s even assuming 100% efficiency. Any high school physics student will tell you that won’t happen.

        • Clent@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          4 months ago

          Drinking one gallon of gasoline has enough calories to keep you alive for the rest of your life.

      • ULS
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        Join our team of Jerks. We have a stiff sign on bonus.

        By chance are you good at “shooting ropes”? Our clients love ropes.

        • ULS
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          P90Sex

          Edit: whoops, I linked to our competitor.

          And ps… The PC term is jagoff.

    • xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      I have an ancient hermetic method of getting off that requires neither computer or phone. Enquire within if you seek this ancient knowledge.