Just needed a space to vent a bit. I’m currently sitting here (I should be napping while my baby sleeps) watching messages roll by in a private family chat planning a surprise birthday for my brother. On my birthday.

I’ve been struggling a lot more with my family during covid, and my partner and I have been extremely selective over everything we do/bring our baby to. This has meant missing out on family stuff, which has royally pissed off my nmom. She’s the type to trash talk behind your back under the guise of “caring”, but has been spreading flat lies about us for the past year.

Now my brother’s and my birthdays are 5 days apart. My sister (who I’m currently NC with because of a covid-related fight) is unvaccinated and we refuse to be around her. My family knows this. She and her kids couldn’t make it to the first date my SIL had planned, so they moved it to the following weekend. Specifically? My birthday. My nmom picked the date. They moved it to my birthday to include the person that they know I will choose not to be around. They’re also planning to make sure my other brother and his fiancée, who I haven’t seen in almost a year, can be there. And I’m sitting here waiting for just one person (in a group of 12) to say “…hey wait, isn’t that puddlejumper’s birthday?”

I’m just having a hard time with this one. Like I said I’ve been struggling with them for a while and honestly probably would have chosen to skip the event even if my sister weren’t going, but this just feels like such a punch in the gut.

Anyway, thanks for listening. My partner and I will do something fun with our daughter on my birthday. Can’t stop thinking about how we’d never treat her like this. Sigh.