I need serious help, comrades. I thought I was doing better, maybe I was lying to myself, maybe I’m insane, I don’t know.

All I know is I’ve spent far too much money on drugs, doing them super often, and in places I shouldn’t be. Anything I could afford.

I’m so down and so dysfunctional that I am struggling to hold down jobs or do much of anything without the aid of being fucked up. Last night I got so demolished (ketamine + weed) that I couldn’t function around my girlfriend. It was embarrassing. I was having full on schizophrenic like experiences and the worst self esteem issues I’ve ever experienced and I realized that I was fucking my life and body up and headed down a very dark path. Said some embarrassing shit too.

I feel like such a loser. Not for finally getting help but for where I put myself and just I don’t know

I’m sorry everyone

If anyone has anything inspirational or anything to say I’d appreciate it because I’m in a spiral right now

I still feel like I’m in the void

Is this forever because it feels like it’s already been forever

  • Johnny Mojo
    1·
    2 years ago

    I am a recovered addict of the ‘hopeless’ variety. It is a tough road to put down the substances, but it is possible. The first thing I did was treat the physical addiction which can be done only through abstinance. After that, I treated the mental side, which is my obsession with getting/being high, which I do through 12 step programs, and treating underlying mental illness with my doctor. I have had to reevaluate my life and make a lot of changes to how I live, but am overall much happier. Please let me know if I can be of help, you can send me a private message. Footnote: I am not a religious type and don’t cotton to the ‘cult’ side of 12 step programs.