I am talking to people on this dating app, hinge, and this idea has popped up several times. And while I think I get it I’m not sure exactly what they mean. Of course, everyone has their own interpretation of what they think they mean by it, but I was wondering if you all had anything you wanted to add to it.
Is it being open to being vulnerable with each other?
I found this and I thought it was pretty good actually…
I mostly agree with the list, but it’s kinda… idk, lacking. In a dating context, you’re looking to let someone new into your life, right? So you need to have room for them. If you already have a million other things to deal with and you’re already at your emotional capacity, you can’t be emotionally available. So that’s really step one, imo. From there it’s really just about maintaining that emotional bond and honoring it. Being open to being vulnerable with each other. Yeah, I’d say that’s accurate.
Btw, just a piece of advice if you’re open to it, you should ask the people you’re talking to this question if you haven’t already! If they’ve stated that emotional availability is important to them anyway, might be too random otherwise lol
yeah, the word that came to mind reading it was “rigid” but in broad strokes it seemed like a good jumping off point to kickstart the convo. Your comment makes me think of what my main critique is: a lack of solidarity. Like that list emphasizes a mutually beneficial relationship but in almost a sterile way… idk if I am phrasing it correctly but there is like a lack of benevolence and human-heartedness in a way that borders on treating relationships and emotional sensitivity in a near-transactional way that is very individualistic. A quid pro quo approach which I think is characteristic of how bourgeois ideology categorizes friendships vs romantic relationships rather rigidly.
Always open to advice from you, comrade. And I think that is good advice and a reminder that communication and respect are key in a relationship. To be honest, from now on I am going to ask for clarification on any term as complex as “emotionally available” in all my friendships; it strikes me as important to create a shared lexicon so that you can be on the same page.
It is hard to find people who can actually discuss these things as precisely as any of y’all though, which is why I wanted to post this.