I had a few wins with my landlord and getting on a new campaign at work (which ensures job security a little more), despite little sleep.

Then my boss ruined my day by telling me I sucked out of nowhere, despite all evidence to the contrary. Unfortunately, everyone who could defend me has left the company recently. He walked back some of the shit he said after I confronted it, but it still made me feel weary about the future.

After that, I missed a meeting with a contact who is helping out with my annual review because of the pissiness I felt and technological issues. I didn’t get any other errands done and failed to call some folks I was supposed to (like checking up on imaging results from doctor). I kind of just stewed and reached out to people to complain and ask about jobs.

I know the solution is to not let it get to me, but it just really caught me off guard because I’ve traditionally been praised at best, ignored at worst (read: most of the time) at work. I just need a new job, but I’ve been trying since April with no luck. Colleagues are getting jobs making double me and I don’t know how because 95% of the time they’re folks who leaned on me for basics. Good for them and all, but…why am I unemployable in comparison?

Huge ass meh. I thought I had until next May for a cushion at least, doesn’t seem so.