Hey comrades, I hope this doesn’t break the rules but I needed someplace to rant to sane people. I know how well threads like this go over on R*ddit. Due to some hefty psychological abuse during my childhood, I suffer from bad social anxiety. Until very recently I couldn’t even talk to strangers via phone, Discord, or Email.
It took me so long to realize that I needed help and even longer to gather the strength to seek it that I am 25 now and only started getting better slowly. I just feel like it took me too long and now recovering is meaningless. I never went to any parties or clubs because I couldn’t and I also didn’t have romantic connections.
The thought of asking someone out terrifies me. I am completely clueless in dating matters and overcoming this seems like an impossible roadblock. It feels like I am already too old to have no clue about relationships and I will be definitely too old once I get over my fear of approaching someone. I don’t want to be alone forever. I don’t want to become some weird incel creep but I also feel like I already crossed the point of no return. And yet I feel silly for worrying about this. I know a lot of you have far greater problems in life. Me complaining about having social anxiety and being single just shows how good my life is if this is truly my biggest problem but I still can’t shake it.
Sorry that this rant is so uncoherent and leading to nothing I just had to get this out in an environment that is actually supporting and understanding.
Edit: thanks everyone for the kind words. I was shedding some tears while going through your replies. I was that deeply touched. I count myself once again lucky to belong to such a kind and caring community (can’t believe libs call US red red fascists) and I now feel much better about myself. I feared I was alone in my fight, and even though I haven’t met a single one of you in real life, I now know I am not. I will get around to answering everyone of you but it might take me a day or two.
I can relate. I spent a good deal of my childhood growing up in a toxic environment and ended up struggling with social anxiety and self esteem issues into my mid 20s. As a grown adult I would require 30 minutes of existential crisis to work up the courage to text my dentist for an appointment. Progress is slow and it can be really hard at times, but it’s absolutely worth it and you have more than enough of your life ahead of you to recover, grow and feel fulfilled. I still have my bad days, but I’ve also experienced social moments that felt genuinely life affirming.
And remember you are absolutely not silly for worrying about and struggling with this. Your problems are 100% valid and important and you should not feel ashamed and kick yourself down. You are not alone and we can all make it.
I feel you. I can still remember how long it took me once to call a barber to make an appointment. I later decided to let me hair grow out just so I don’t have to make appointments any more.