It’s ruining my life. And the irony is it’s the only way to dissociate from bad things. At least it seems like that’s the only way. Feels like the snake that eats its own tail.
Edit: thank you all for the good advice and support. It means a lot. I love my comrades. 
I guess it’s something you’ve heard a lot, but why not switch to vaping? Then you can slowly diminish the nicotine % until you can just stop