This is what I’m worried about and why I don’t feel I can accept money. What did they say/do about people who sent you money? And how far back did they go? Was it on the phone?

I’m worried about accepting money though, because the DWP are checking people’s bank accounts and I don’t know how I’d explain why someone was putting money in my account.

I can’t believe this. I’m booked in to have a minor surgery on my feet to clear up infected skin that has failed to respond to other treatments. It’s on the NHS so the surgery is free, but they just told me I have to pay for a pack of dressings to take home (as the wound needs the dressing changed every day and the pack apparently contains something to keep the dressings dry in the shower.) This pack is bloody £37, and I have to buy two as both my feet are having the surgery. I can’t be the only one who thinks these packs should be free along with the surgery? And where am I supposed to get £74 while going through a benefit appeal? Just when I think life can’t get worse, it finds a way. Being ill/disabled is so bloody expensive!

I’m glad to hear others say talk therapy is useless. Online (especially reddit), people are always going on about how it’s so great, everyone should get therapy, it solves all your problems, etc. It’s been feeling like gaslighting, like “if therapy doesn’t fix you then YOU aren’t putting enough effort in.” It feels no different than the bible telling people if they have enough faith they can move mountains.

I don’t think I can get therapy elsewhere because it costs money, which I don’t have. I don’t even want therapy anyway, I’ve accepted my situation already. The therapist even said all she can do for me is get me to accept my situation and I’d already done that before I even met her. The one thing she can do is help me get my benefits reinstated but she just seems utterly opposed to that.

Anyway I’ve had several therapists before and none were any good at all. Years ago I was at university and I was walking home from the supermarket one evening when I was grabbed off the street and sexually assaulted by a gang of 4 men - total strangers. The university provided a counsellor/therapist who was also useless. One of the things she did was try to get me to empathise with my attackers, get me to imagine what problems they’d been going through that drove them to act the way they did towards me. I can’t begin to tell you how infuriating it is, even now, to remember that. And the police were even worse. It’s all crap.

Yes. I’ve got nothing and I’m resigned to the fact I’ll never have anything. After years of cancer treatment that caused me to have a stroke, which has left me partially sighted and unable to walk properly, I was no longer able to work or study, and now spend my life going through endless disability benefit claims and appeals (because they reassess me stupidly frequently), scavenging for food and on the brink of homelessness while going through these appeals. Due to my illness I lost any chance of a normal life, no career, no family. I consider myself ace but I could still have had a family of my own. Now due to my health it’s too late. I can barely look after myself anyway. My friends all drifted away as my illness wore on and I was no longer able to go out much, so I have absolutely no social life whatsoever. Due to lack of funds I can’t even do simple things like rent films I want to see on amazon. I’ve accepted that my life is pointless, meaningless and miserable. But why does the government have to make it worse with these endless benefit assessments? The constant poverty is the one thing I can’t accept. I’m just eaten up with anxiety about it all the time.
The only way I get through life is living in a fantasy world most of the time. I’ve built up this elaborate fantasy life in my head where I’m healthy and happy, surrounded by friends and having a great time with no financial worries. In these daydreams I go surfing and skydiving, have the best mates ever and am full of joy and life, everything is always sunny and I’m always young. The only way I can cope with reality is by imagining it away.

I don’t think she does this, and it wasn’t on offer from the NHS. 5 years prior to this I was given DBT on the NHS from a different therapist, who was even worse than this one. The DBT therapist just made me write lists of why I shouldn’t feel depressed or anxious and why I shouldn’t commit suicide, and look at those lists whenever I felt bad, to make me feel better. That was the entire therapy! And she admitted that she wasn’t even qualified yet. I’ve totally given up on therapy actually helping me, it’s all shit. I’m only toughing it out because of my benefit claim.

Well, I got a couple of messages of support last week about the behaviour of my therapist so I thought I’d give you all an update. I mentioned how I’m going through a benefit appeal, and also having mental health therapy for depression and anxiety, and this therapist is worse than useless but I don’t dare to quit because the DWP (benefit assessors) will use it against me, they’ve done it before, used me not having treatment for a condition as an excuse to stop my benefits. Anyway, I mentioned how I’m struggling to keep going to the therapy appointments because they are so useless and stressful and I have a lot of other medical appointments to keep up with too (oncologist, endocrinologist, stroke clinic, ophthalmologist, physiotherapist, neurologist, etc) so having this weekly useless therapy appointment is just an extra stress and waste of time. I mentioned this to my therapist and she got offended and told me to just quit therapy if I don’t want to go. When I explained that the DWP will use that as an excuse to permanently stop my benefits and I’ll end up homeless and permanently destitute, she didn’t care at all and said “benefits aren’t a good enough reason to have therapy.”
Well anyway the update is that I missed an appointment with her and I’ve been feeling more unwell than usual this past week as a treatment I was given by the neurologist has worn off now, so the therapist agreed that this month we can just have one appointment instead of the usual 4 and see how that goes. I just really want her to let me have one a month until January, when the therapy comes to a natural end. That way I’ve completed the 6 month course of therapy rather than quitting halfway through and the DWP won’t be able to use it against me. I really hope she doesn’t expect me to have the full 8 sessions that are left after that. I hate this therapy so much, it’s absolute crap. She’s such a crappy therapist she can’t even think of things to do in the sessions and tries to make me think of things to do. I once told her I was interested in trying meditation so now 20-25 minutes of each session are her doing a rubbish mediation where she talks complete nonsense while I have my eyes closed. Then she gets out crayons and tells me to draw pictures of whatever I’m feeling. Then she gets out a diagram of a human and tells me to colour in whatever parts of my body hurt that day. The end! How is this meant to help me? My problems are that I’m ill from cancer and the effects of it’s treatment, I’m learning to walk again and adjusting to becoming partially sighted after having a stroke, and I’m living in poverty, always fighting benefit appeals and struggling to get enough to eat and keep a roof over my head. No therapy will fix this but this excuse for therapy is particularly bad. And I can’t quit or it will be a big strike against me in my benefit claim. People are meant to have a free choice about whether to accept medical treatment or not but there is no free choice when you’ll be made destitute, homeless and starving in retaliation for refusing the treatment. And this shitty therapist refuses to understand how badly I need a roof over my head and food. Someone here recommended I talk to her about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to try to get her to understand, I will do that at the next appointment and see what she says. I’ll let you all know how that goes.

I don’t know this one’s qualifications, but the previous one (many years ago) admitted she wasn’t qualified yet, so who knows if this one is even qualified? It’s not a possibility to transfer. I was on the waiting list for 5 years to get this one and this is all I’ve been offered. I could ask her to stop the guided meditations but then she will either expect me to think of something else to do, or she’ll drag the drawing nonsense out. Whatever she does it will be nonsense, she’s clearly just trying to fill the time with whatever so she can collect her paycheck. I don’t actually want therapy at all. I’ve had four therapies in my life and they were all shit. I’ve accepted my situation. I’m just trying to stick this out to help my benefits claim. Another issue is I hate the therapy wing of the hospital, it stinks of perfume and air fresheners that give me a migraine and the therapist doesn’t care about that either.

Hahaha. This is an NHS therapist. I was on the waiting list for 5 years to get this therapy. I can’t just get a new therapist. I can’t afford to pay for one, I can only have what the NHS provides and this is what they eventually gave me.

I didn’t know it had a name. This is definitely what they are doing to us.

Thanks. I wish I could join in with organising and agitation but my every waking moment is consumed with fighting my benefit appeal, trying to stave off homelessness and trying to get enough food.

Thank you. The thing is, I would actually prefer a blatant genocide than the “hidden” genocide we’re going through. I’d honestly rather be rounded up and put out of my misery quickly than what we have now, being starved to death behind the scenes while the newspapers brainwash the public into thinking benefit claimants have it so good. The cowards should have the courage to kill us blatantly instead of pretending we have a great “safety net.”

I don’t believe my therapist is skilled at all. She doesn’t even seem to know what to do in the sessions. She tries to make me think of things to do. For instance in the first session she asked if I had any ideas for things I’ve thought of that might make me feel better and I expressed a vague interest in meditation, and she leapt on that and from then on made a large chunk of each session a meditation, and not even a good one. Literally telling me to close my eyes and in a very unenthusiastic voice, showing how bored she is she’d drone for about 20 minutes whatever nonsense she could think of, always the same “Feel your breath. You can’t breathe in the past or the future, only the present. Feel your feet, thank them for walking for you. Roll your ankles. Mentally scan your body and notice anywhere you feel discomfort. Turn your head to the left. Now the right.” Just on and on for 20 minutes. Then in every session she gets out a diagram of a human body, brings out some crayons and tells me to colour in wherever I feel pain in my body. Then she tells me to draw a picture of whatever I’m feeling that day. Then she writes a timetable for the week (of getting out of bed, watching TV, walking, meditating, eating mindfully, etc) and tells me to stick to it. That’s the end. The same every week. How on earth is this crap meant to help me? And then she got defensive last week when I said this wasn’t working for me, isn’t doing anything to help, and told me to quit if I want. When I explained my financial reasons for not quitting, explained how I’m worried it will lead to losing my appeal, my benefits being stopped permanently and destitution and homelessness she didn’t give a shit and said that’s not a good enough reason to have therapy. So I don’t know how to explain to her that I need my basic needs met, in a way she will accept. She clearly doesn’t understand or care about my impending potential homelessness and regular periods of starvation. I even told her about this website and how several people here over the last couple of months have helped me out with food vouchers to prevent me from starving because my situation is that dire, and you should have seen her face. I’ve never seen anyone look at me with such contempt before. She looked like she thought I’m some kind of piece of shit scam artist begging money from strangers. She actually told me to stop asking people on here for help. What am I meant to do, just starve to death? She clearly has absolutely no concept of what it’s like to be so financially desperate and doesn’t want to learn.

I once went to hospital with status migrainosus and they gave me aspirin and sent me on my way. Truly, no-one cares about us.

Thanks, I would like to try this. But I need to frame it in way that won’t anger or offend her. Any suggestions?

I’m truly worried I’ll end up like one of the many ill and disabled people I’ve read about in the news who are forced back to work by having their benefits stopped and then drop down dead at work. Or one of the multiple benefit claimants who have starved to death or committed suicide. It really does seem like a genocide of the disabled.

Thanks for the solidarity. Yeah the NHS is usually fine for emergency treatment. But for chronic problems, it can be awful. And it’s difficult to get diagnosed in the first place. The therapist is causing me so much extra stress, she doesn’t listen at all when I tell her I’m worried that stopping the therapy could stop my benefits permanently. I even told her if that happens I’ll have no choice to commit suicide and I intend to commit suicide anyway one day and she said she understands that seems like a reasonable plan and there’s nothing she can do to help me other than get me to accept my situation.

I feel really bullied into treatments and interventions I don’t want just to try and keep my benefits. Does anyone else feel the same way?

I’m going through yet another disability benefit appeal right now. They use any excuse they can to stop my money. Last time I had a stroke during covid and a benefit reassessment shortly after. Because of covid, the physiotherapy department was closed, so I couldn’t start physiotherapy right away. They used that as an excuse to stop my payments - because I wasn’t having physiotherapy, according to them, the effects of the stroke can’t be that bad therefore zero points and no money. So, I don’t dare to stop any of the treatments I’m having, even though most of them are pointless and just cause me a lot of extra stress. One example is mental health therapy. After making a suicide attempt it took me 5 years on the waiting list to get this therapy, and the therapist wrote a letter of support for my benefit claim, which is something at least. But the therapy is shit.

The therapist doesn’t lead the sessions, she expects me to think of things to do. I once expressed an interest in meditation so now a large chunk of the session is her doing a very crap guided meditation where she makes me close my eyes while she tells me to roll my ankles, roll my head and wiggle my feet. Then she gets me to draw a picture of whatever I’m feeling that day. Then she writes me a daily timetable of nonsense and tells me to stick to it. It’s utter rubbish, how is this meant to help? It’s stressful juggling my many medical appointments (therapy, eye clinic, stroke clinic, endocrinologist, oncologist, physiotherapist, neurologist, GP) and I would love to quit all the unnecessary ones that aren’t helping and are just causing me extra stress, like mental therapy. But I’m worried if I do, the DWP will use that as an excuse to stop my money, because that’s what they do.

People are supposed to have the freedom to refuse medical treatment, but there is no real freedom to refuse if you’re going to be made destitute in retaliation.

Well, eventually I broke down and explained how I feel to the therapist. She said trying to get benefits isn’t a good enough reason to have therapy. I tried to explain to her about how worried I am about being homeless and totally broke permanently if they don’t reinstate my benefits, but I could see I was talking to a brick wall. She just doesn’t understand being totally destitute with no back-up means of support, that much is obvious. She said if I don’t want the therapy I should just quit, and I tried so hard to get her to understand my perspective but she doesn’t. Eventually she said we could cut the weekly sessions down to monthly face to face ones, with weekly online sessions. I didn’t want the online ones but felt pressured to accept. The first online one was meant to be today and I totally forgot about it. I got an angry sounding email from her which seemed to imply stopping the therapy altogether. I asked if we could just do it monthly but she isn’t agreeable to that.

This is so stressful! I don’t want the added stress from this shitty therapy but the DWP will use it against me if I stop. Even if it was good therapy it wouldn’t help. My problems are severe disability and poverty. Therapy won’t fix that. On top of all this, I get severe migraines, which are triggered by artificial smells and the therapy wing of the hospital stinks of air fresheners and perfume and stuff, it actually gives me migraines to go there. AND it’s a waste of NHS resources bullying people into medical treatments they don’t want!

Same here. I’m a partially sighted stroke and cancer patient. Multiple doctors have written to the DWP (Nazis who run the British benefits system) on my behalf, requesting them to give me a 10 year benefit award (the maximum possible even if you have an incurable disease like Parkinsons, Alzheimers, MS, etc). Still the most they’ve ever given me, after a lengthy and stressful appeal, was 4 years. However the appeal took nearly a year and that year was knocked off the total. They’re allowed to start assessing you a year before the award ends, which they did, so really my 4 years was actually 2 years before the stressful assessment process started again.
I’m still having cancer treatment, with life-ruining side effects, I’m still learning to walk again after the stroke and I’m still adjusting to becoming partially sighted. Multiple doctors have told them my health won’t improve any time soon. Why are they re-assessing me so frequently? Why did they give me zero points the last time and stop my money? The DWP are saying they have a 10 year backlog of claims to get through. So why don’t they stop giving people such short awards and assessing us so frequently? I could tolerate life, even though it’s painful and miserable, if it wasn’t for the endless poverty. It’s the frequent assessments and appeals, the low payments when I do get them, and the constant threat of having my benefits stopped permanently, that makes me suicidal.

Sometimes you even have an “acceptable/seen as real” underlying condition that hasn’t been diagnosed yet. For three years doctors diagnosed me with things like depression and ME, but in the end it turned out I actually had thyroid cancer, that’s what was causing all my symptoms. They simply hadn’t bothered to do any tests.