Have any queer vibes to share? Here’s your place! 
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
No cishets allowed! 
Have any queer vibes to share? Here’s your place!
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
No cishets allowed!
So a week or two ago I was talking to my therapist about how I’ve had the urge to express more “soft” emotion which may or may not have come through in some of my posting here
Anyway I talked about how wrong it felt to express that as the person I am currently. Like I want to squee over cute things and lavish affection on people I care about but it makes me feel like such a goober, like it’s uniquely ill-suited to me. I asked if that sounded like gender dysphoria and she was like “yeah pretty much lol”. I think it’s the first concrete instance of that I can express, which is nice in some ways that I can put a finger on it, but it’s putting a finger on something negative :/
Another one I just thought of recently was smiling. I hate when I smile involuntarily, I feel so idiotic and ugly when I do it. Maybe that’s just normal low self esteem tho 🙃
the last part of this reminds me a bit of unlearning the typical guy head nod. the common consensus in trans spaces and just watching cis friends is a smile or even a lil waive. it definitely felt unusual at first but these softer things can become second nature before you know it
Gender dysphoria is a weirdly validating but sucky thing. Obviously I hate having dysphoria, it happens all the time wirh me. it’s fucking awful and annoying but also validating in that, clearly doing trans things alleviates it, which makes me feel like I’m not making the wrong decision by pursuing transition
“Like I want to squee over cute things and lavish affection on people I care about but it makes me feel like such a goober, like it’s uniquely ill-suited to me”.
Oh look, it’s me
Hey me, it’s me!