1.) Law to make me eternal king of the city.
2.) Law to mandate my exorbitant salary and discretionary fund.
3.) Law to stipulate the various details of my city-provided harem.You guys suck at genies.
Your town is now bankrupt.
Ice town costs ice clown his town crown.
I would mandate all sidewalks replaced by moving sidewalks.
Also I would wish for infinite towns
“The Roads Must Roll”
I think the state or federal government might step in.
I’m in Utah. I’m just returning the place to its roots.
Granted. You are now the eternal king of The City.
The City pretty much immediately falls to ruin because you don’t know anything about economics, and most of your residents leave. With the economy unable to support your rule, the state has to intervene to save the region.
They charge you with gross neglect, and considering all the lives you’ve ruined, give you a life sentence. You’re immortal now (eternal king), so they pretty much just seal you in a steel reinforced concrete box and drop you in the ocean.
Nothing happens for billions of years.
The sun expands and incinerates the earth. You can’t die but you’re in pain beyond imagining from all the heat and radiation.
This continues for a long time.
Eventually the sun expels the outer layers in a stellar nova and you are condemned to drift across the universe struggling for air for all eternity.
knowing nothing about economics never stopped anyone
- Progressive vacancy tax - the longer a commercial site sits empty, the more the tax is.
- Abolish most residential height and density limits.
- Rent control
I like the progressive vacancy tax!
Ah, but 1 and 2 could be done with the Land Value Tax
-
If you buy it, live in it- no more commodification of homes.
-
zero tolerance driving policies that prioritize pedestrians and cyclists and blatantly discourage driving.
-
safe supply. Anything that was going to be disposed of in police evidence is to be tested and used to start the program. Can’t get people to a place where they want to be treated if they’re dead.
So, no such thing as renting? If I move to the city I’m just homeless until I can afford a house?
Rentals are to be run by the city at a subsidized rate of no more than 30% of the income for the household, regardless of the space required.
We don’t need landlords to fulfill housing needs. They can go get real jobs.
God I would love the pig shit fucker landlord I have to work a single day in his life. Inherited 17 houses.
-
-
Property and income tax funded high speed internet available to all persons and businesses in city limits free of charge. Also, power, water, waste management, and any licensing and registration fees are all eliminated and they get funded by property and income taxes instead (also fees for public copiers at court houses, libraries, etc).
-
Sleeping in public is legal, sleeping in parked cars is legal, cars can’t be towed from the parking lots of businesses outside of the businesses’ operating hours, and no person can be denied use of a public bathroom (regardless of whether or not they purchased anything).
-
All businesses and public buildings will be made handicap accessible through city funded grants and fines for non compliant property owners, and rental property owners will be required to make any accessibility modifications a tenant might require.
-
A perpetual levy to keep the schools funded, and it floats with CPI or some other index to remain relevant.
Public oversight of police.
Outlaw police unions.
Ranked choice voting.Free public transport, buildings/residences incur additional council rates when sitting empty, better permitting system for food trucks on public property.
- Term Limits (Goodbye family-connected people who haven’t done shit in 20 years)
- Church Is Now a Library (Goodbye assholes who expelled my friend’s fiance for cohabitation, while the minister cohabitated with his girlfriend)
- Anticorruption (Certain people on the council rent their properties/sell things to the town at “market rates”)
No income properties for single family homes. Punishable by jail.
Companies will now have their minimum pay decided by majority vote for up to 70% of the previous year’s profit divided by the number of people employed and companies are decommissioned when they’re found to exploit people in large scale.
People have to give me specifically a blowjob on request. I mean universal basic income. That.
More bike lanes in the center, especially for long distances
More rail infrastructure in the outer parts, especially an outer ring by light rail or subway
Better funding for Schools and stuff
Is this lah lah land where I can pass any law I want locally without it being superseded by state or fed? Then
1.recreational pot is now legal with 32 plant homegrow limit
-
Psylocibin mushrooms are now legal and can be sold wherever alcohol, tobacco, and weed are sold including state run stores
-
HOAs are outlawed, you can now do whatever the fuck you like with your own properties and not pay yet another yearly fee to an at-best-incompentent-at-worst-malicious burocracy. I have to deal with enough of those already
Absolutely based
-
No one eligible for social security can hold office.
the monkey’s paw curls Social Security is abolished
Fine. No one eligible for Medicare. That can’t possibly go…
Fine no one over 60 can hold office.
- Term limits, the same 3 families have been running my town for 40 years.
- a bypass, we’re a very small town with a huge tourist industry, and the township refuses to approve a bypass because it would divert traffic away from the tourist trap, regardless of the fact that it takes half an hour to cross a town with a single traffic light.
- investment of the tax money into the community. Again, we have a huge tourist industry and a shit ton of money comes into town from it, yet our roads are absolutely terrible, half the town doesn’t have sidewalks, and honestly I don’t know where any of the money goes.
-
Make all local utilities city-owned (including internet access as a utility).
-
Make all city employees part of a municipal employees union (opt-out available)
-
Require all legal judgments against the police department to be paid out of their pension fund.
-
- Mixed Zoning
- All streets/roads must have sidewalks and separated bike lanes
- UBI
Reminder that the prompt said a town level not state or federal. There is no individual town that would be capable of sustaining Ubi it would have to be at minimum a state level thing to be successful
Idunno, I feel like a sufficiently large city could do something along those lines with sufficient political will.
Maybe not some little population 47, one stop sign “town” out beyond Bumfuckistan…but maybe a proto-UBI as a economy-boosting supplement could be worked out in a city of 100K+ residents.
Towns find the money for stroads and highways, I don’t see why UBI would be difficult
- Ban cars
- Legalize drugs
- Basic income for unhoused and impoverished funded by said drug taxes
Umm I don’t think a municipality can superscede state and federal law.
So maybe you could ban cars, with the exception of state vehicles.
-
Would work in some cities, but not others.
-
Is terrible. Drugs fuck up your brain.
-
Is based
Some drugs (alcohol, opiates, meth) do fuck up your brain with long term consistent use associated with addiction, but most people don’t fall into that unless they have some sort of severe external stress or genetic predisposition. You can see this with alcohol which despite its acceptance by society is one of the most harmful drugs out there, but most people who consume it do so in relative moderation.
Drug prohibition fucks ups society way more than drugs can fuck up your brain. It creates a police state that targets the poor and minorities. It gives money to cartels and gangs that cause violence. It doesn’t even stop drug use, those who want it can still get it, it just makes drugs less safe as theirs no quality control leading to adulterants and an incentive to make overly concentrated substances like fentanyl, which probably wouldn’t exist without prohibition.
What people put in their body is none of your fucking business
That’s true, but if someone gets convinced to try drugs, they become addicted most of the time and it ruins their lives. IMO free rehab and no criminal charges for people that are already addicted would be a better policy
What fucks up your brain even more than drugs is being forced into perpetual childhood.
-
