We really do live in a society, huh? 
You’d think I’d be numb to all this shit by now. But I’m just sad.
We broke the 2-degree threshold in global temperature increases recently. Media shrugs.
Covid spike yet again. The media tells us to harden up or die.
Everything fuckng sucks. Wages suck, prices suck.
The people protest, they rightfully don’t want to boil from climate change or the genocide of Palestinians. The capitalist government says fuck you and arrests them. Very cool and democratic.
Death, disease, poverty. Everything is falling apart. I feel powerless. Like I’m watching the murder of something beautiful and all I can do is watch. The powers in charge of this are monsters. All they seem to want to do is make everything worse and anyone who doesn’t agree with fucking up literally everything is labeled an extremist.
Shits traumatic.
At this point in order to function “normally” in society I more or less have to wall off the parts of myself that care about anything real.
I feel despondent most of the time and was in a real nasty place the other day. The only time I start to get worried about my depression is when imagining my own violent death brings me a sense of inner peace. I was there. Everything is so exhausting and horrifying and wretched, and I have to endure it all alone. I have my mom and brothers, sure, but that’s not enough for me, and everything I do feels pointless.
I just keep going anyway. It might get better. Might not. But I’m not going to hurt myself as long as that will hurt the people around me.
I like your posts
Wish I could find a partner just by posting. Talking to people in person is a nightmare of so many ambiguities I can’t even keep track of them all
I just keep going anyway. It might get better. Might not. But I’m not going to hurt myself as long as that will hurt the people around me.
i wish people would be sad that our lives are like this rather than be sad when some of us refuse to keep suffering.
Of course they’re sad, they want better for us. I’ve been possessed by the urge to end myself since I was 15. 22 years later I’m still here because something inside of me wants to be better, to be well enough to heal others or at least let them lean on me.
I don’t want to die. I want to have a life worth living, and someone who accepts me and welcomes my love in it. But that feels out of reach sometimes. That’s when I fantasize about an end.
they want that but they can’t or won’t do anything about it.
i don’t think i have the urge but like, we euthanize pets when they would spend years in agony with no quality of life and we just have to sit here suffering with no end in sight.
yeah
i grew up watching feckless anti-war protests and occupy get crushed. Feels like protest doesn’t actually do anything but people are too civility brained or scared of prison to go around murdering oil executives.
honestly, the only way i figure we can keep going on is optimistic nihilism or really optimistic doomerism where we try to enjoy our meagre lives as everything around us around us falls to pieces. what can we do to change this fucked up world? what can one person do? i guess it’s up to us to try our best, but we could also not. just log off and stop being communists all of us. what i wouldn’t give to be a hapless liberal again or barring that a chud.
it’s either that or die fighting as a foreign fighter for the PFLP in minecraft
Pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will. - Gramsci
… Still working on it.😅
Usually when I get to really low points I end up trying to be extremely helpful to random people in real life or online (the motivation for my emulation mega thread on hexbear).
I’ve just always sorta figured that if in my lowest moments I’m willing to help people (even in silly non-serious ways) that that alone is enough worth fighting for.
On the digital front, whenever I come upon some wildly helpful thread on the internet I take an extra second to appreciate the effort that someone went through to make this for some anonymized random person in the world strictly because they felt it should exist. People like building things solely for the purpose of helping others and that makes things a little more bearable to me.
Your posts, as stupid and silly as they frequently are, usually end up making my days a little bit brighter even for just a moment, and the fact that someone wants to do that as some bizarre artistic expression lets me know that there are other people out there trying to make things better for the sake of making things better in whatever way, small or big, that they can.
This got kinda rambly but I hope it maybe made things seem somewhat less bleak.
joy will only be found in the red army
spite is like breakfast for me now, important for everyday function
There’s a saying I heard once that fits those vibes: “every day you’re alive, they don’t win.”
We all have each other at least. I think that like minded people coming together like this is something positive to look at. It creates the possibility of a better future through the collective work of all those gathered. Idk, people coming together to compare notes often gives me hope. I know that might sound sappy or cliche to some but, that is what I feel.
💛 🟥I feel much the same way
Part of the reason why I’m moving and going partially off-grid is because I want to live somewhere that seems to be more resilient in the face of climate collapse and catastrophic temperature spikes and try to be more self-sustaining if and when society outright collapses, maybe even with a better chance of making some new friends with my new neighbors there (current neighbors are a mix of full blown lawn obsessed MAGA boomers and computer touching “fuck you got mine” neoliberal Xers).
I don’t know if it will be enough. I’m going to try, especially because as a father-to-be I need to try for the next generation’s sake.
good luck with the kid! I’m sure you’ll be a great father! Sorry the world sucks.
Thanks, and
You’re not watching the murder of anything beautiful, comrade. You’re lamenting the death of what you imagined could be. It doesn’t have to die as long as you can imagine it.
The war started long before we were born and it’ll continue long after we fall and most of the battles we don’t win. But as long as I breathe there’ll still be one communist fighting. You with me?
Your post has this energy and it’s neat.
I’m that it says nothing? The text boxes are blank. Good meme format though.
I found a version with the text cleared out for templating purposes because the text in the original wouldn’t really fit except the “one character demoralized and another character pep talking them” part.
Oh, I feel like a dick now. Big salute, marching band preferable, for including the raw template.
It’s so rare I didn’t even realize and assumed it was a different approach.
My bad dude, I was rude on that one.
Thank you for explaining.
It’s all good.
i too have a huge meme template folder, salute.
Yeah it sucks. Have to numb myself a lot just to make it. I’m sure the people at work think I’m mentally disabled or fucked in some way out in the world because of this. And one of the few comforts we have is each other but I can’t be both extremely open to people and life while not getting devastated by them equally. The toturous impasse of existing.
Your line about watching the murder of something beautiful really hits home. We live in such an incredible world, filled with wonder and with the capacity for joy and fulfillment for so many living creatures, and our overlords shit on it just for some meager profits in the next quarter. Most people I know are capable of recognizing this, but are stuck in a spiral racing just to stay afloat or willfully ignorant because the status quo benefits them even just a little bit.
I don’t know what to say to strengthen you against this. It all just sucks so much. I know there is a better world possible, but so often I can’t see a path towards it. I will say I appreciate your posts and look forward to them. You have the ability to make me laugh but I also appreciate the righteous anger you also show. I also really love your c/bloomer posts because they remind me that there are positive signs of where humanity is heading and that we still owe it to this planet to fight for a better future
Sometimes things are good, sometimes I have to rely on spite to keep me going
