I still look really bad, like nothing has happened, can I Just not expect better results, is this the end of the road. I know people always tell me “your beaitful inside” (im not mad at them) and shit like that
Idk maybe you could find a more fucked up picture with fewer pixels for us to study =P Seriously, Sky, this isn’t a meaningful image. This image allows you to fill in the blanks with whatever terrible emotions you’re feeling at the moment you look at it. It doesn’t serve you, and you should treat yourself better than this. You’re basically bullying yourself. You should get someone who cares about you to take and select some pictures to share. They have a more objective view of your body and appearance.
Anyone can take a bad picture. I can take a shitty, low res picture that makes me look awful. I often have to take and shuffle through several shots to get the good one. And I’m fucking hot =P
I just feel like it’s impossible for hrt or transting to do anything for me. And that’s it all just a fanasty and I’ll never look at myself and be happy. Body postivey is the same as if I never took hrt for me. Since I legit have no seen a single major change and I look awful.
I feel we’ve talked about this before, Sky. HRT doesn’t change your body. It changes how your body changes. If you don’t change your body, your body won’t change. You have to take control of your body. You are the only one with the power to change it. It’s not going to happen for or to you. You’re an adult. Your autonomy is perfect and infinite. Use it. Claim from the universe the Sky shaped space you want.
My issue is what am I supposed to do, loose weight. I’m just curious cause I don’t know what to do.
Don’t ask me. Is that what you want to do? If you think that would get you closer to the person you want to be, do it. Do everything that you think will make you into the person you want to be. Do every stupid little thing that makes you feel alive. Concentrate your whole body, with its 360 bones and joints, and 84,000 hair follicles, into this question of who Sky is; day and night, without ceasing, hold it before you. You must be to yourself like gulping a hot iron ball, which you can neither swallow nor spit out.
Listen girl, the transition does not auto-magically solve all your inner issues. I personnaly just start now after 8 years of hrt to like what i see in the mirror. Just enjoy being yourself, and don’t focus on the details ;)
How has HRT affected how you feel on the inside, appearances ignored?
I don’t know if you need to hear some tough love right now, but I’m going to give it and you can choose to read it or not.
Being unhappy has a huge impact on your appearance. You look fuckin miserable in that image, and I’m betting that’s what you’re finding unattractive. You know how people always say they see the light in their own eyes after they start transitioning? It’s because they aren’t deeply miserable anymore, and they can finally be free to express themselves, not because they’re suddenly pretty or handsome.
Sky, please, find a therapist that you feel listens to you. I know you’ve been told this a lot, but there’s really nothing any of us can do as much as a good therapist can to lift you out of that pit of despair. DBT has been hugely helpful for me, so maybe try looking for that. And you know…I wouldn’t be telling you all of this if I hadn’t gone through it myself
Just saying, candid photos are never “great”, so should not be the photos you use to judge yourself or others.
Unfortunately, staged and controlled photos where you can account for angles, lighting, etc.
Also lenses play a big part.
Seconding the bit about lenses. I look terrible in selfie cams but fine in mirrors. Lenses play a HUGE role in how you look in a photo. Imo never use a photo to judge your appearance.
I’ve seen you here and seen your pictures before. This is an unflattering pic of you but no, you don’t look like you think you do either.
So much of your problem isn’t going to change with just hrt. The problem is you hate yourself. You’re probably also conflating beauty with gender. I’ll be direct: in a lot of your pics I’ve seen, you look like a woman. You just also look… terrible. Your hair is a disaster (as an extremely curly haired woman myself, I know it can be difficult to learn how to manage it but managing it once you know how to isn’t. Nor is it difficult to get there, it just takes trial and error. I’m not gonna tell you you should lose weight but it seems like you have a lot of negative feelings about it too. That’s within your control and if you think you’ve tried and failed, you either tried something that wouldn’t work or didn’t try hard enough.
For all of the different ways you hate yourself, I can recommend one of two things: therapy or change it. Or both is better tbh. Change your hair, your clothes, your demeanor. Those will make huge differences. You aren’t the way you think you are but you’re not a model either and you don’t have to be to be a woman
I’m gonna be honest, it just hurts. Like if I look a women I’m not pretty and never will be. Accepting that I lost is hard. Being bullied for my appearance as a kid, only to be discimated for it as an adult. I just conviened I’ll never be happy
You’re just flat out wrong that you’ll never be pretty. You absolutely can have that but it takes work you’re currently not willing to undertake. There’s a lot you can do to change your appearance that would make a huge difference before even considering stuff like surgery or weight loss which I get the impression you think you need to be happy. Seriously girl, hair care alone would do a lot. And if the little things well within your power aren’t something you’re willing to entertain doing, your problem isn’t actually your appearance. It’s you.
