This describes my dad except for the part where some of the bikes work.

Missed the swing bike and the skatebike.

I don’t know where Dad dug these things up, but he started supplying us with strange and wondrous ways to hurt ourselves on 2 wheels, starting with a home made small penny farthing in 1962, an early banana seater, and a circus trick bike (20" wheels, vertical fork tube, and 1:1 fixed gear).

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I thought it was just "1 current bike + n old bikes ".

What color is the bike shed though?

This looks like the meth-head’s shed full of stolen bicycles you find in every bad neighbourhood.

Correct number is n-1, where n is the number that would cause a divorce.

I dont see the “stoney tricycle for going to the beach” on here…

I have 4, could maybe justify a 5th but honestly that would take up too much space in my basement.

My single speed commuter and my touring bike are enough for me. That doesnt mean I dont want more though…

This is ridiculous. You don’t need more than 4.