I’m sorry for the depressing topic, it’s just been an extremely lonely and disappointing day. I’ve tried to keep busy to avoid the feeling, but it’s getting to me and I just feel awful.

I’ve been ostracized from my very small family due to their dysfunction and my sexuality, and I live in a very rural area roughly 40km from my nearest friend who is busy with their own family. Coupled with the fact that I have no community, organization, or group to associate with, it all just seems very depressing and meaningless. I couldn’t even afford a Christmas tree this year, so I collected some nice pine branches to make a small bundle that I decorated, but even that now seems pathetic and miserable. I just wish I had people to spend the holiday with, even a single person would be nice.

I’ll probably just game for a bit and then head to bed early, holidays are always awful.