I would raise my hand, but that’s a bit too much exercise for today.

Opposite. Eat something remotely sweet and I need to counter it with some salt.

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So, what would it take to get one of these as a pet?

I’ve heard the idea before that this happens, because the blood is busy¹ moving digested food into storage, so it can’t transport sugar into the brain as well. And then that feeling of low blood sugar causes your dumb brain to look for sweets.

Respectively, I’ve found that actually eating less per meal or eating a mix of nutrients where most take longer to digest (proteins, wholegrain, vegetables etc.) can lessen that effect.

Additionally, you can also try to get into a habit where when you do get this low blood sugar feeling, that you specifically don’t give your body sweets (to not reinforce this as the solution your brain craves).
And then instead, you can try to increase your heart rate to improve sugar circulation, by taking a little walk or doing a stupid little dance or whatever sport you can quickly do without puking.
Ideally, your brain will start craving this physical activity.

¹) I’m guessing ‘busy’ means it circulates more actively through your stomach and less actively for other sections of your circulatory system.

I blame my parents almost always providing desert after dinner for my entire childhood.

I almost never want dessert. I just ate a meal, why do you think I want to eat more?

I’m usually not like this… but I did get used to this when living abroad and having dinner with some German friends. The ‘sweets’ after dinner weren’t too overboard though, so it didn’t make me feel guilty.

Dessert exists for a tasty reason.

Sorry to be that guy but if you cannot feel full until you have some dessert, it is a sign of building insulin resistance.