I have a partner in my polycule relationship that is going to date someone from Ukraine. 😒

I have a problem. I can respect that ANY Ukrainian is likely pissed about the Donbas war and the Russian SMO.

I dont know this man. And Im already disgusted with myself for being prejudiced.

My partner is a socially progressive liberal. And they once tried taking me to task about China once before.

I told them it was best we never talked global politics.

But I will absolutely 100% lose my entire shit if my partner starts going openly rah rah for Ukraine.

My partner says they love and adore me. But they dont have a deep appreciation of me being a Tankie and they deserve to know. They deserve to understand or at least know who I am.

I cant abide a lover living in a lie and giving their love on a misunderstanding.

How do I approach this diplomatically and in good faith? Because Im probably gonna have to meet this guy and frankly… He is a Ukrainian in the US. Im being prejudiced; but I am automatically expecting this guy to obviously be against Russia and at best; reactionarily supporting Azov and Banderites simply because they’re the ones fighting.

  • Munrock ☭@lemmygrad.ml
    5·
    2 years ago

    You’re aware that your trepidations are based on worst-case possibilities of what this Ukrainian is like. Which is good; that you recognise that. Maybe the fact that you’re worrying anyway is emotional bleed from your worry about having to potentially reveal your politics to your partner? Might be stuff to process there.

    Seperate thought but: if he’s actually incredibly based ideologically, what are the chances that he feels he’s able to be open about his politics as a Ukrainian in the US? A communist Ukrainian in the US is going to feel even more isolated than an American communist in the US.

    Draw up a table of the possibility space, with columns “new guy is based” and “new guy is fash” and rows “open about politics” and “hide politics”. Then in the 4 cells note how things would pan out for everyone involved. Might be a good way to visualise your options.

    • GloriousDoubleK@lemmygrad.mlOP
      5·
      2 years ago

      Im not saying it’s impossible. If I found out he was a based communist; I would be over the god damned moon and Id let him know right away that he could confide in me any time he wanted to chew the theoretical fat.

      He very well could have fled the LPR and DPR from the nazis.