I need serious help, comrades. I thought I was doing better, maybe I was lying to myself, maybe I’m insane, I don’t know.

All I know is I’ve spent far too much money on drugs, doing them super often, and in places I shouldn’t be. Anything I could afford.

I’m so down and so dysfunctional that I am struggling to hold down jobs or do much of anything without the aid of being fucked up. Last night I got so demolished (ketamine + weed) that I couldn’t function around my girlfriend. It was embarrassing. I was having full on schizophrenic like experiences and the worst self esteem issues I’ve ever experienced and I realized that I was fucking my life and body up and headed down a very dark path. Said some embarrassing shit too.

I feel like such a loser. Not for finally getting help but for where I put myself and just I don’t know

I’m sorry everyone

If anyone has anything inspirational or anything to say I’d appreciate it because I’m in a spiral right now

I still feel like I’m in the void

Is this forever because it feels like it’s already been forever

  • PeeOnYou [he/him]@lemmygrad.ml
    31·
    2 years ago

    I’ve been there… I’m sorry you’re in that hell.

    I will say it’s possible to have a normal life without the drugs with determination, honesty, and some luck.

    I’m sober almost 5 years from my drugs of choice and life is incomparably better than it was for the 15 years prior. The same will be true for you if you never give up.

    Use the tools they give you but remember they will only work if you make them work for you.

    Best of luck on your journey onwards!