I need serious help, comrades. I thought I was doing better, maybe I was lying to myself, maybe I’m insane, I don’t know.
All I know is I’ve spent far too much money on drugs, doing them super often, and in places I shouldn’t be. Anything I could afford.
I’m so down and so dysfunctional that I am struggling to hold down jobs or do much of anything without the aid of being fucked up. Last night I got so demolished (ketamine + weed) that I couldn’t function around my girlfriend. It was embarrassing. I was having full on schizophrenic like experiences and the worst self esteem issues I’ve ever experienced and I realized that I was fucking my life and body up and headed down a very dark path. Said some embarrassing shit too.
I feel like such a loser. Not for finally getting help but for where I put myself and just I don’t know
I’m sorry everyone
If anyone has anything inspirational or anything to say I’d appreciate it because I’m in a spiral right now
I still feel like I’m in the void
Is this forever because it feels like it’s already been forever
Ah I’m seeing this post after your other comment. Good to see you are actually starting treatment. I hope it can give you the tools to deal with your struggles.
Going to treatment is a hard step for many and you should be proud that you’re taking it. You seem to be willing to change, that’s important. But remember: it’s a marathon you’re doing now, not a sprint. It’s not going to magically get better after 1 or 2 sessions and it will require work. But as long as you are able to open up and follow through, you will get out of it a better person, I promise.
And for something inspirational: I myself have dealt with years of drug and alcohol abuse. I even dealt hard drugs to finance my lifestyle of partying and destroying myself. I was on a path to be a lifelong criminal and to destroy myself with drugs. Many times did it seem hopeless when I looked at the future. And many times did I try to end my life because of it. I’ve hit absolute rock bottom and I’ve stayed there for a long long time.
But I managed to turn it around. By myself, with help from my friends and family and, importantly, with therapy. It was a hard road to where I am now, with some dangers of falling back, but I made it. And nothing will knock me back down now.
If I could do it, you sure can. We’re here for you.
No worries. Yeah, it’s pretty much necessity at this point if I want to keep a job, join an organization, and just stay alive in general.
I am, I really just want to have a happy life. I trust you and the process.
I am sorry to hear that, but very glad that you’re still here and doing better. Thank you, my friend. You all are amazing