Comrades, I’m feeling a bit down. Help a friend out and share something that inspires you or say something inspiring if you wish

<3

  • TeezyZeezy@lemmygrad.mlOP
    4·
    2 years ago

    You’re making me blush, comrade. You are my friend as well and I wish the absolute best for you. You aren’t alone either.

    Of course, always. That’s the only way we can do it.

    I proudly carry that label. I have never consciously thought about not fighting my feelings - I’ll try that next time. I definitely get that I can’t understand my way out of them, but if you could elaborate more on how one would be able to “feel their way out” that would be great.

    You’re absolutely correct in that, too, and I have recently came around to that fact. I used to be a hard-core doomer that hated everything and believed it was all bad; a stage I don’t regret but definitely have grown out of.

    You’re a godsend, SpaceCowboy.

    • SpaceCowboy@lemmygrad.ml
      5·
      2 years ago

      I appreciate that as well. We all have our ups and downs.

      So there are three main ways (afaik) that one deals with emotions. I’m no expert, and in fact I am actually kind of new to letting myself feel things but I am very analytical.

      (1) understand them and deconstruct them and then you still have to live with them but you know what you’re dealing with (this was my go to for a long time and this is good for minor things imo, like not getting the job you applied for). I literally have a folder on my desktop titled emotions and I write journal entries and poems in there and save poems I like in there. And you won’t just stop feeling them but it has always helped me… maybe this is a relic of me trying to constantly convince myself - “well actually here’s why you shouldn’t even care after all”.

      (2) “handle” them by walling them off and just never dealing with them but knowing how to avoid triggering them (this is not as bad as many people think and sometimes with real trauma, it is necessary and correct, though it can hamper our personal lives… but emotions are just part of life. Doing this with smaller stuff can really hamper our personal development unnecessarily though… which is what I think leads to fascists who come from the comfy classes), and

      (3) feel them and resonate with them and just ride them like a wave… don’t struggle against them but let them wash over you… like… write and read poems and listen to music that helps you feel those emotions and cry them out, go on a late night walk and think. You don’t want to wallow in them, but i think that writing and feeling them deeply is actually a really good way to get to a better place… like, if you’re in a dark tunnel, don’t just freeze up, go forward until you hit the light. I think reading poems by others is really helpful way to realize that you TRULY aren’t alone.

      Note that tbh my life has literally always been materially easy, if lonely, and this is how I deal with pretty superficial shit like heartbreak or my parents not loving me the way I needed… but I have a friend who has had really, really traumatic experiences (like it makes me sad just thinking about) and I am learning how to be a good friend to someone with real emotional scars. I am developing a comradely sensitivity.

      Honestly though that is just what I think. I’m just a dude. Sorry for rambling hope you can pick up what I’m trying to get across.

      Idk what the nature of your unhappiness is but here is a poem which had me weeping (and still gets me choked up) when I think about how much I have suppressed my emotions throughout my life and how it led me to miss out on a lot of things. http://www.phys.unm.edu/~tw/fas/yits/archive/bukowski_thebluebird.html

      • TeezyZeezy@lemmygrad.mlOP
        3·
        2 years ago

        I’ve definitely been a mixture of 1 and 2. 1 would be used for the lesser, more common pains in life, and 2 to attempt to block out mental illness. This has not worked for me.

        The dark tunnel analogy is very good. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is feel, but I think you’re definitely right. Poems and other art forms are wonderful.

        My life has been materially easy, too. I’ve been in the battle with myself this entire time. Also, I wouldn’t call those things superficial at all - those are very real pains one feels, and just because it isn’t absolute desperation or extreme poverty doesn’t mean they aren’t valid.

        Nah, comrade. That was very helpful. I’ll try that last one. Not rambling at all. Also, that poem was beautiful. Thanks again, friend

        • SpaceCowboy@lemmygrad.ml
          3·
          2 years ago

          You’re welcome.

          I agree they aren’t superficial, it’s just a real shock when you meet someone whose lived through tragedy like watching a loved one be killed by the police or something like that. It really does kind of put things into perspective. while my pains have been real and are certainly valid they were “expected” parts of life if that makes sense.

          Capitalist society is really shit for everyone who pays attention and is sensitive though that is definitely true. If you start to feel and lose yourself to any kind of overwhelming sadness please feel free to reach out again.