I feel like I can say this because I have a good relationship with my parents even though it’s something we’ve had to work for. Because of that, it’s not me under the microscope here.

But oh my god how does this guy live with himself. “Are there valid reasons why adult children might cut off contact? Yes, obviously. But what we see is <proceeds to write thousands of words about how the people invoking these valid reasons are indoctrinated by therapists, societal inequality, and, um, bourgeois striving, and we should put their reasons in scare quotes>”

In my survey of 1,600 estranged parents and grandparents, I found, as have others, that parents explained their child’s estrangement for reasons often quite different from those commonly cited by estranged adult children.

No, It Is The Children Who Are Wrong.

But wait, Maya, don’t you put a high premium on expertise? Couldn’t this reflect real dynamics that your social circles simply haven’t exposed to you?

Well who should I consult if not the author of The Lazy Husband:

Dr. Joshua Coleman, author and clinical psychologist, understands that a happy marriage is a balanced marriage. And now, in his refreshingly honest and straightforward style, Coleman reveals exactly how women can motivate their husbands to become better partners and better fathers. […] By following these proactive plans, you too can achieve a happy, well-balanced marriage. Just remember, you can do less by getting your husband to do more.

…oof.