As someone with ADHD I’d describe the experience more like profound boredem with everything in life. You seek obsession because you can’t generate excitement for normal activities on your own
If I’m playing with my friends the excitement of making jokes and having fun is enough for me. But if I’m alone no game brings me joy if it’s not my current hyper fixation.
Same, dude. Recently it’s been Skyrim for me. Started it up on a whim for the umpteenth time and have sunk 80ish hours into a save file again and have rented a PS VR to try Skyrim VR. Aside from Overwatch, that’s the only game I currently see myself playing regularly lol
Feel this pretty hard. I tend to like the ones with a really good tactile feedback. Anything with tight melee combat gets a gold star from me. (Fury is probably one of my favorite games of all time)
But once you find one that hits that hyperfixation itch, ohhhh maaaaaan.
For me it’s gotta be the right level of challenge. I want to like the loop in Souls games but can’t get past the frustration. Hollow Knight, however, was just right and I loved it.
Other things that work for me is the Factorio style- especially Satisfactory because when you fuck up you don’t need to tear it all down and rebuild.
I just saw someone on Reddit who claimed this profound boredom with everything was why they didn’t have ADHD. Apparently the list of symptoms they were reading did not accurately describe the depths of ADHD boredom, and they thought their boredom was a worse breed that indicated some far worse mental problem.
I have no hobbies I enjoy longer than about a month except gaming, and even then I still get like a month mileage out of each game. I can’t hold a job because every time I start a new one it’s like a ticking timebomb in my brain until I can’t handle it anymore. Even if the job is easy and the people are nice. Something about the repetitive schedule and saying/hearing/doing the same thing every day brings me to a near panic attack level of restlessness and anxiety.
I’m probably undiagnosed inattentive. I’m also not one to make a statement like that lightly.
I’m notorious among my social circle for diving down rabbitholes and sending them endless mental lint articles. I wish I could turn it off sometimes.
Whenever I read a description from someone with ADHD I can almost always 100% relate to that experience, but whenever I read something from “professional” source I start thinking I might not have it and just killed my attention span with social media consumption…
Buddy if you are waiting for a Sign, this is it. It’ll never get more concrete than this message I’m typing for you right now. Having a lot of doubts is common. It wasn’t truly real for me until I started medication.
My broad advice is to find a good psychiatrist (and don’t be afraid to switch if you aren’t happy) and dig as deep as possible for evidence both for and against. Go in with confidence that you have ADHD symptoms, but keep an open mind since there are alternative explanations. A diagnosis of “no you don’t have ADHD it’s actually ____” is also important information to know, and you will regret letting it drag out if you do have ADHD.
I was driving one time, and got lost in my city. I drove a church. Their billboard read:
Lost? Come in and ask for directions! As in the spiritual kind.
Anyway, I decided to drive on, and get progressively more lost. I decide to turn around. I make my way back to the church, and on the reverse side of the billboard:
The show I’m a Virgo has a character who’s superpower is basically adhd. She moves extremely fast and is constantly bored. I identify deeply with Flora, especially at work. I struggle with boredom and unstructured time, so I do like twice as much work as most of my coworkers. I’m routinely sales lead without really trying. I thrive on the busy days that most people find overwhelming.
Lol, but to answer the question seriously you might need to be slightly more direct than with someone who can focus through a whole conversation. It really depends on the person and the severity of their symptoms, but in general just trust your instincts. People w/ ADHD aren’t known for hiding how they feel haha
you might need to be slightly more direct than with someone who can focus through a whole conversation
ah yeah, this is what I was wondering about! I had heard that before and thought maybe I was being too subtle this whole time.
People w/ ADHD aren’t known for hiding how they feel
They often compliment my hair and what I’m wearing but won’t go further than that. One time I complimented their hair and they blushed HARD. Like put their head down and looked a little embarrassed. Like maybe they only want to compliment me and not the other way around?
Some things that might explain the intense blushing:
a) anxiety is comorbid with ADHD. What this means is that if they do have ADHD/ADD then is it highly likely they also have some sort of generalized anxiety.
b) if this person is amab then any sort of compliment is going to send them over the moon. amab individuals rarely get the same romantic attention that afab’s do. So it’s entirely possible they simply didn’t know how to respond to that situation (I still remember the first time a person complimented me)
All of this is to say it sounds like you have a good handle on the situation but you might want to consider slowly ramping up the obviousness of your intents and watch how they respond. Obviously do whatever you are comfortable with, but it is probably a good idea to try and take the lead in this situation (but again, trust your instincts)
I think they are amab but they ride the androgyny line pretty hard so I can’t really tell.
I started wearing a trans flag necklace and noticed they started really warming up to me once they saw it. Last time I was around them they made it a point to stand very close to me to tell me something so you’re right - I think I just need to ramp up my interest in them so they notice more.
Take a genuine interest in their obsessions. Not a performative “I want you to see I like this for you” but a real “I’ve been going out and doing this on my own for the past few weeks/months and I want to talk about it”
You do actually have to do it, they’ll spot your bullshit before you speak it.
It’s so crazy you brought this up. I’ve been accused of faking interest in the past when I wasn’t and was actually doing the thing on my own.
My last ex did this a lot actually. Great example - he started watching Columbo so I took an interest and also started watching it. Then he like got upset? Told me not to be interested in it at one point?
I had another guy do this too but with hip hop and he waited until we were like two years into the relationship to accuse me of not really being into old school hip hop? Like why. I was literally living with the guy and he would come in the room where I would be listening to stuff on my own. Hell I still listen to Three 6 Mafia and Digital Underground. I even knew about Digital Underground before I ever met him. Like it was such an outlandish claim that I was faking an interest.
I never once faked anything but I’ve gone out with numerous guys who pull this shit for some reason. The only thing that makes sense is they were trying to fuck with my head on purpose.
Now I focus on myself more cause it seems pointless to be interested in things other people are.
As someone with ADHD I’d describe the experience more like profound boredem with everything in life. You seek obsession because you can’t generate excitement for normal activities on your own
There are very few videos games I can play because of this. I love gaming, but finding one that I like is extremely challenging.
If I’m playing with my friends the excitement of making jokes and having fun is enough for me. But if I’m alone no game brings me joy if it’s not my current hyper fixation.
Same, dude. Recently it’s been Skyrim for me. Started it up on a whim for the umpteenth time and have sunk 80ish hours into a save file again and have rented a PS VR to try Skyrim VR. Aside from Overwatch, that’s the only game I currently see myself playing regularly lol
Omg same re: skyrim
starfield you may also enjoy alr have 40 hours into the game
Or ones that I like too much, see my 15 year addiction to WoW. So many little dopamines to find!
If I didn’t have to do life, I’d just play wow
I imagine myself in old age in a retirement home playing wow all day
Feel this pretty hard. I tend to like the ones with a really good tactile feedback. Anything with tight melee combat gets a gold star from me. (Fury is probably one of my favorite games of all time)
But once you find one that hits that hyperfixation itch, ohhhh maaaaaan.
For me it’s gotta be the right level of challenge. I want to like the loop in Souls games but can’t get past the frustration. Hollow Knight, however, was just right and I loved it.
Other things that work for me is the Factorio style- especially Satisfactory because when you fuck up you don’t need to tear it all down and rebuild.
I just saw someone on Reddit who claimed this profound boredom with everything was why they didn’t have ADHD. Apparently the list of symptoms they were reading did not accurately describe the depths of ADHD boredom, and they thought their boredom was a worse breed that indicated some far worse mental problem.
Had to tell 'em.
I have no hobbies I enjoy longer than about a month except gaming, and even then I still get like a month mileage out of each game. I can’t hold a job because every time I start a new one it’s like a ticking timebomb in my brain until I can’t handle it anymore. Even if the job is easy and the people are nice. Something about the repetitive schedule and saying/hearing/doing the same thing every day brings me to a near panic attack level of restlessness and anxiety.
Oh my god this is so accurate. I’m barely on the spectrum, and I can only imagine what it must feel like to have full ADHD.
I’m probably undiagnosed inattentive. I’m also not one to make a statement like that lightly. I’m notorious among my social circle for diving down rabbitholes and sending them endless mental lint articles. I wish I could turn it off sometimes.
Whenever I read a description from someone with ADHD I can almost always 100% relate to that experience, but whenever I read something from “professional” source I start thinking I might not have it and just killed my attention span with social media consumption…
Buddy if you are waiting for a Sign, this is it. It’ll never get more concrete than this message I’m typing for you right now. Having a lot of doubts is common. It wasn’t truly real for me until I started medication.
My broad advice is to find a good psychiatrist (and don’t be afraid to switch if you aren’t happy) and dig as deep as possible for evidence both for and against. Go in with confidence that you have ADHD symptoms, but keep an open mind since there are alternative explanations. A diagnosis of “no you don’t have ADHD it’s actually ____” is also important information to know, and you will regret letting it drag out if you do have ADHD.
Unrelated anecdote:
I was driving one time, and got lost in my city. I drove a church. Their billboard read:
Lost? Come in and ask for directions! As in the spiritual kind.
Anyway, I decided to drive on, and get progressively more lost. I decide to turn around. I make my way back to the church, and on the reverse side of the billboard:
Need a sign from god? This could be it!
So I stopped and asked for directions…
The show I’m a Virgo has a character who’s superpower is basically adhd. She moves extremely fast and is constantly bored. I identify deeply with Flora, especially at work. I struggle with boredom and unstructured time, so I do like twice as much work as most of my coworkers. I’m routinely sales lead without really trying. I thrive on the busy days that most people find overwhelming.
This might sound silly but I’m trying to attract someone who told me in the past they have ADHD. Should I be doing anything differently?
Leave out a few pieces of cheese, and sit very quietly. If the cheese doesn’t work, try cookies, they tend to attract most things
Lol, but to answer the question seriously you might need to be slightly more direct than with someone who can focus through a whole conversation. It really depends on the person and the severity of their symptoms, but in general just trust your instincts. People w/ ADHD aren’t known for hiding how they feel haha
ah yeah, this is what I was wondering about! I had heard that before and thought maybe I was being too subtle this whole time.
They often compliment my hair and what I’m wearing but won’t go further than that. One time I complimented their hair and they blushed HARD. Like put their head down and looked a little embarrassed. Like maybe they only want to compliment me and not the other way around?
Some things that might explain the intense blushing:
a) anxiety is comorbid with ADHD. What this means is that if they do have ADHD/ADD then is it highly likely they also have some sort of generalized anxiety.
b) if this person is amab then any sort of compliment is going to send them over the moon. amab individuals rarely get the same romantic attention that afab’s do. So it’s entirely possible they simply didn’t know how to respond to that situation (I still remember the first time a person complimented me)
All of this is to say it sounds like you have a good handle on the situation but you might want to consider slowly ramping up the obviousness of your intents and watch how they respond. Obviously do whatever you are comfortable with, but it is probably a good idea to try and take the lead in this situation (but again, trust your instincts)
I think they are amab but they ride the androgyny line pretty hard so I can’t really tell.
I started wearing a trans flag necklace and noticed they started really warming up to me once they saw it. Last time I was around them they made it a point to stand very close to me to tell me something so you’re right - I think I just need to ramp up my interest in them so they notice more.
I do hope they like cheese as much as I do.
Relevant SMBC
Take a genuine interest in their obsessions. Not a performative “I want you to see I like this for you” but a real “I’ve been going out and doing this on my own for the past few weeks/months and I want to talk about it”
You do actually have to do it, they’ll spot your bullshit before you speak it.
It’s so crazy you brought this up. I’ve been accused of faking interest in the past when I wasn’t and was actually doing the thing on my own.
My last ex did this a lot actually. Great example - he started watching Columbo so I took an interest and also started watching it. Then he like got upset? Told me not to be interested in it at one point?
I had another guy do this too but with hip hop and he waited until we were like two years into the relationship to accuse me of not really being into old school hip hop? Like why. I was literally living with the guy and he would come in the room where I would be listening to stuff on my own. Hell I still listen to Three 6 Mafia and Digital Underground. I even knew about Digital Underground before I ever met him. Like it was such an outlandish claim that I was faking an interest.
I never once faked anything but I’ve gone out with numerous guys who pull this shit for some reason. The only thing that makes sense is they were trying to fuck with my head on purpose.
Now I focus on myself more cause it seems pointless to be interested in things other people are.