• gerryflap@feddit.nl
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    9 months ago

    We should, if its justified. I don’t know about y’all, but if someone would continuously sprinkle me with kind words and compliments without me deserving them, it’d just feel fake. And that would honestly frustrate me more in the long term.

  • Lakija@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I do say kind or encouraging things to people just because. I wish I could extend the same kindness to myself. Now that is the hard part.

    • FacelikeapotatoOP
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      9 months ago

      That’s definitely something I’m working on too. I find it helps to say it out loud and address myself by name.

  • snor10@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    Shit like this is what makes Americans come of as disingenuous and creepy.

    Stay out of my personal space and only speak when you have something to say.

    It has worked well for the Nordic countries, just look at the happiness index.

    Words lose their meaning if repeated too often, show your kindness with your actions instead.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      There isn’t really that much performative kindness in the United States as far as I can tell among most people that live there.

      Apart from aging 50something creepy men demanding that young female employees smile more (and if they don’t they may lose their jobs), it’s actually coarse and hostile and full of scowling and feral-like stares, especially when driving.

    • alp@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 months ago

      Not to strangers lol, pretty sure it means to friends and family. Of course not being an asshole to strangers is nice, but you don’t have to be totally friendly

  • Drusas@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    Hugs have made me extremely uncomfortable for my entire life. So no thank you. We’re not all the same.

    • fusio@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I’m sorry, sounds stressful. I hope you are taking care of yourself :)

      If it makes you feel any better, OP is not saying we should force people to receive hugs. There is no threat here. It’s perfectly fine to clearly express your boundaries and expect others to respect them.

      • Drusas@kbin.social
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        9 months ago

        Thank you, I understand. It’s families that force hugs on the children who are uncomfortable with them. Fortunately, I’m old enough now that that’s not an issue anymore. Or at least not much.

    • emptyother@programming.dev
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      9 months ago

      Same-ish but not “extremely”. Just uncomfortable. If it makes the other person happy I might as well let them. A short bit of uncomfortableness is worth someones smile. 🙂

      • Drusas@kbin.social
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        9 months ago

        That’s about how I am these days. I’ve learned to acquiesce and appreciate it making other people happy, for the most part. But I still don’t care for it for myself personally.