Not letting kids have any secrets or privacy in their lives is not good for them. You have to teach them the difference between harmful secrets that they shouldn’t keep, like when someone else is hurting them, and secrets that are safe and acceptable to keep for themselves, such as something personal that they should only tell people if they feel comfortable doing so willingly like whether they are trans or gay. You’re not teaching your kids to not keep secrets if you think forcefully outing them is in any way appropriate or acceptable, you’re teaching them to get better at hiding things from you. You should be teaching them to feel safe coming to you when they are ready because they trust you to let them do so on their own terms, not because they were forced to. Kids that aren’t allowed to have any secrets are far more likely to keep things from their parents, because they learn that they aren’t allowed to choose when and who to tell something based on whether they feel comfortable or safe doing so, and so keeping secrets becomes a way for them to take back that sense of security and control that you haven’t allowed them to have. If they don’t feel safe telling you something like this themselves, then that’s because you’re the one doing something wrong, not them, and it should be up to you to repair that broken trust. But forcing the secret out of them against their will is only going to further destroy any remaining trust they may have had in you, and teach them to never be open and honest with you because you’ve shown them that you are untrustworthy.