Does anyone have any experience or know if I can use the bulk of my KiwiSaver in a relationship agreement to offset other payments e.g. house?
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Apart from retirement and buying your first home, there are a few (narrow) reasons you can withdraw from KiwiSaver. See: https://www.ird.govt.nz/kiwisaver/kiwisaver-individuals/getting-my-kiwisaver-funds-early
You will probably have to talk to your lawyer though.