I’m a Dallas fan and have been for, jeez, almost 20 years now. I’ve seen stars who come over and think this league is an ass-kissing tour and don’t put in the effort, and they get obliterated by the low-technique high-motor Americans that still make up half the rosters. I’ve seen stars who give it their best, but their bodies are done; they often look good for a bit but break down almost instantly. I’ve seen others whose games rely on getting world-class service or having world-class strikers on the other end; sometimes they adjust, and sometimes they just scream into the void that is Frisco on a 100-degree night.

So far, Messi just does Messi things and there’s nothing you can do about it except hope to outscore him. Little walkin’-around motherfucker has the perfect game to pick apart MLS defenders for years to come. He doesn’t rely on pace anymore (to the extent he ever did), has the technique and awareness to stay away from the enforcers, and can create his own chances or exploit the space when his presence pulls defenders out of shape.

I felt the goalkeeping and defence was a joke. On both ends.