I’m trying to write a dark twist on a classic princess story for this world. Their monarchy is modeled after my best interpretation of and assumptions about royalty in Medieval/Renaissance Western Europe (it doesn’t actually take place there, but I wanted that general aesthetic), but that’s not something I’ve done a lot of research on and would like people more knowledgeable to weigh in. Is there anything in the character profile I have for her that would absolutely not happen in a Western European style monarchy?

Context for this world is that it is inhabited by intelligent animals, think Zootopia but more sci-fi, and with quite a bit more political and societal turmoil during the time period this post focuses on. Also, these are normal, animal shaped animals, not anthros. They do have human scale lifespans though, if only because a 15-20 year lifespan for a cat is not conducive to detailed character development.

Princess Iliana the Second (her mom is the first), later known as Nikita Almondtail, was the crown princess and heir to the throne of the former Feline Empire. She is a domestic cat with a coat of brown and cream patches. One might even go as far to say that the brown tones on her fur, which extends to her tail, resembles the colour of an almond.

Predictably, she was born to a life of the highest luxury, at least materially. As a kitten, her father, the king, would beat her mercilessly for any perceived transgression, while her mother mostly ignored her. She was born into a time of great unrest in the empire. The Unitist movement was picking up speed, which is an ideology that involves making peace and cooperation between predator and prey animals, collective ownership of property and resources, basically vegan socialism. The king was trying to quell the dissident voices in his typical brutal way, but was failing slowly but surely. This was endlessly enraging and terrifying for the king, and he took it out on his helpless daughter. This caused her to both fear and resent her father from a young age. Even at this early age she could recognize the irony in being taught that royalty must be graceful and elegant in everything they do, that they cannot so much as slam a door or make a thud when setting something down on a table or the floor, yet the king beats her whenever he sees fit.

At some point in her childhood, she asked her mother for a mouse toy, as in, a plushie that she can cuddle when alone in her chambers. Her mother, not really paying attention to what she was actually asking for, went and got a live mouse from the kitchen and gave it to her to basically be her personal slave. However, she quickly grew attached to the mouse, which she considered her only friend. The mouse would often be the one tending to her bruises and scratches after her father beats her senseless.

At the same time, she was being taught how to hunt. But, due to her emotional attachment to her own mouse, she couldn’t reconcile whether mice were friends or food. What made that one so special? And what makes these mice so worthless that they are fit to be eaten alive? Combined with the fact that her father, whom she already hated, was pushing her to learn to hunt, she despised every moment of it. Some cats greatly enjoy the screams and pleas of their prey, her father sure did, but she was not one of those cats.

In her teenage years, as she secretly worked to gain precious few morsels of knowledge of the outside world that her parents had tried to keep from her, about the nature of being a cat, and hints of the disparity and oppression that the working class beyond her castle wall faced. She became obsessed with the idea of being an obligate carnivore and the idea of biological dependence on prey. Specifically, why? Why couldn’t she eat plants like her prey did? What about her body was preventing her from not having to kill to live?

When she became an adult, her parents wanted her to begin her training as the successor to the throne immediately, all in the palace of course, she can count on her paws the number of times she was allowed off its grounds. But, she somehow managed to convince them to let her go to university first, arguing that an educated ruler would be taken more seriously by the other powers in diplomacy. She was enrolled in the Royal Feline Science Institute’s Moonpeak campus (Moonpeak is their capital city so it was literally within walking distance) and began studying biochemistry, following what she had been curious about for a big part of her life. This is when she also adopted the name Nikita Almondtail to hide her real identity. As a side note, the last name scheme of something in nature plus a cat body part is squarely a working class name. Her calling herself Almondtail would have been extremely scandalous should the aristocracy or god forbid her dad finds out.

She learned about the biochemical mechanisms of her own nutritional requirements, and also learned about the work that other predator animals have done toward making peace with their prey, the cutting edge of which was the dietary enzyme supplement, a pill that is swallowed to give predator animals the ability to subsist on plant-based food. This greatly intrigued her, but unfortunately, the only products available are for omnivores, not carnivores, so she could not take advantage of it.

It’s also during this time that she met Yvonne Dandelionpaw (Old Reddit link, actually it’s a little out of date with my developments for Yvonne, but she’s my main character so I’m spending more time editing and adding to her profile before I post a proper updated version on Lemmy) who was studying quantum chemistry, but who was also a vocal Unitist. They formed a connection and became friends, with Yvonne even taking Nikita to general meetings of the underground Unitist cell that Yvonne was apart of. They even worked on a joint thesis project for their degrees, developing an enzyme supplement for obligate carnivores, which they would later perfect and turn into the product now known as ATDP, which is the first and still only dietary enzyme supplement capable of providing complete nutrition to felines from plant-based sources.

It is unclear exactly when Nikita revealed her real identity, but we do know that she revealed it in her final year of university, first to Yvonne, then to the rest of the Unitist group, denouncing her father and his empire and vowing to join them in their revolution. First there was a great amount of friction and distrust toward the princess, but it was quite quickly worked out, many members saying afterward that they could somehow just tell that she was sincere. After some brainstorming, it was decided that she would go back to the royal palace, while keeping in secret communications with the Unitists and acting as a double agent. The aristocracy was beginning to take her more seriously now that she was an adult, and because the king was aging fast and rumored to already be in poor health. She misdirected and deceived them prior to and during the outbreak of the revolution. As her involvement was becoming more clear, she officially defected to the side of the revolution, re-joining Yvonne as they once again worked together, this time to develop a covert, nearly untraceable neurotoxin that was used to carry out highly targeted assassinations on key members of the aristocracy and military. At this point she had fully changed her name to Nikita Almondtail, casting away her royal past and resolving to make a new life for herself as a unitist worker.

As the revolution drew to a close and the trials against the monarchy began, Nikita was the only member of the royal family who did not so much as see the inside of a courtroom, she was seen as a comrade at that point. The rest of her family was sentenced to death. Nikita attended the execution of her father. Standing in the first row, making sure his father could see her in the crowd. As the firing squad took aim, it’s said that Nikita’s eyes burned with satisfaction and triumph.

Does this progression make sense? What are your thoughts on her backstory?

  • qwamqwamqwam@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    My immediate question would be: what is the goal for the story you’re telling?

    Everything you’ve written here seems fairly internally consistent. However, the pro-vegetarian and fantasy animal theming clashes with the patricide/revolution aspects. The result is it feels like a mishmash of concepts that haven’t been adequately melded together. Think a salad, versus a cake.

    Now this sort of thematic clash can work, but you need to lean into it. Ditch the perfect moralizing in favor of visceral events that break and reforge the character into the shape you’re looking for. Don’t give Iliana a complicated dilemma to wrestle with mentally, give her a real dilemma she has to solve on the spot—one where it’s likely she makes the wrong choice and is haunted by it. I would ditch the college stuff entirely—it kills your pacing and feels like the author intervening to get the ending they desire. Besides, wouldn’t a noble just get tutors? Instead, just introduce the potion along with the revolutionaries. You don’t need to explain how it works, because it’s not important to the plot and “Wizard Did It” is an expected part of sci-fi/fantasy anyways.

    This entire thing needs a good wash with desperation overall. I think that’s going to be your connective tissue here—people make flawed, impulsive choices in high-stress environments. The rational choice here for Iliana is to keep her head down and ascend into royalty at adulthood, or, failing that, to run at the first opportunity. Your task here is to sell the reader on why she doesn’t do that, and the way you’re going to do that is by infusing the atmosphere with pressure that makes us feel a sense of being cornered, that the only way out is to fight.

    • HiddenLayer5OP
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      1 year ago

      I definitely appreciate your feedback, thank you! But, to be honest I disagree with your assessment that the vegan/vegetarian aspects conflicts with revolution/war. I feel that fighting for what you feel is right and abandoning your previous life which you deemed immoral are classic elements in storytelling. They’re all intelligent, sapient creatures, both predator and prey, so from their perspective, hunting and eating animals is horrifying and an atrocity that needs to be stamped out. I don’t think it’s that different from any human “fighting a war to free the slaves” story, or a revolution story in general. This is my opinion on my own story though, so not discounting that I’m biased or not seeing something obvious.

      Also, I just really like animal characters and the trope of predator and prey making peace. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t choose this type of story at least partly because I love animals.

      Besides, wouldn’t a noble just get tutors?

      You have a point, yes, most royal kids would. Though, the way I explain this in-universe is that the king, out of pride and/or mistrust of other cats (the Unitist movement had been brewing for a long time), was determined to teach his daughter himself which is why they had so many interactions and he had so many opportunities to identify and punish her wrongdoings.

      • qwamqwamqwam@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        The clash here isn’t vegetarianism and revolution, it’s between gritty/dark realism and wish-fulfillment fantasy. The front and back thirds of your plot are about domestic abuse, neglect, murder, court intrigues, and execution. The middle third is about a cat going to college, making friends, picking up vegetarianism, and discovering an enzyme that solves her moral dilemma for her. A reader looking for Game-of-Thrones style drama is going to feel bored by the middle and cheated by the sudden break with realism midway through the story. A reader looking for a comfy bit of light reading is going to be turned off by the nastiness upfront way before they make it to the part that they even have a chance to enjoy. You can’t satisfy both groups here, one has to give. Or just write for yourself, which is perfectly fine too! This is all assuming you’re trying to write something for a broader audience.

        • HiddenLayer5OP
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          1 year ago

          I think see where you’re coming from. You do have a point and I will definitely have to think on that. However, this is just a character biography and backstory, my main plot (which I have yet to post here as I am still actively developing it) actually takes place after the revolution. So this is more a description of her life as part of worldbuilding.

          Also I should clarify that her time in college is by no means a happy go lucky slice of life story. It is filled with just as much strife, conflict, and uncertainty, and she is actively becoming radicalized and planning for the looming revolution with her new Unitist allies, many of whom obviously do not trust her, or even hate her due to her being effectively part of the royalty that they’re trying to overthrow. She doesn’t become truly happy until the revolution ends and she watches her father get shot.

          Still, you’ve definitely given me food for thought on this progression. Thank you!