Why not tell him? Who wouldn’t love that?
Any person unsure about their safety sitting next to a stranger with no options for escape. I wouldn’t feel particularly comfortable in such a situation.
UPDATE: I don’t understand the downvotes. I have read many comments saying similar things in response to the story: give this man the benefit of the doubt, not every behavior is mansplaining, you’re all judgmental and jumping to harsh conclusions, and so on.
I used to be in that chorus until my wife explained to me one thing: when the cost of failure is high enough, constant vigilance and suspicion is necessary for protection and maybe even survival. And I could either accept that or not.
It felt grim and I felt disappointed by the whole conundrum, but I had to accept it as it is. From there, my view of these kinds of situations changed.
Someone who makes assumptions about women and confidently tells them how they should be doing the things they are already doing.
Just sounds to me like he’s passionate about something. I guess he could be an ass, but to jump to that conclusion from just “you should train high milage” and then providing analysis is really a bit much.
Probably more along the lines of “I found this amazing program, check this out”
I take it you’re not a woman or afab presenting then? Go ask a woman you trust to tell you what it means when a man starts explaining her hobbies to her as if she doesn’t understand them.
Man, guys do this to everyone because they care about what they do. I’ve had guys do it to me and I love it because we can have a passionate conversation then.
Look, if after she revealed who she was he dismissed her, then yeah, he’s an ass and the conversation is a waste of time. But, I know a lot of guys who would do exactly this and then be really excited to talk to her and learn about her experiences, myself included.
No, there are guys who absolutely talk to women as if they know nothing about the topic no matter what the woman stated before hand. I’ve seen guys do that to my coworker who’s been a developer for years and if they have to tell her some sort of critique on her code, they’ll explain from like a intro comp sci point and detail everything and then finally just mention their critique at the end. All that was needed was the criticism itself, not the full history of programming. When I get a critique, it’s just “hey, try XYZ because of ABC.”
Happens at the gym too. Hell, I’ve literally been next to a woman who brings up a topic they like that the other guy likes and then they just start talking to me and I didn’t even mention I enjoy the topic.
Just because you don’t do it, don’t pretend it doesn’t happen. Women react the ways they do because of experience. Also, I highly doubt you’ve seen guys talk to someone interested in the same topic in the same way as if the other person knows nothing. It’s disrespectful regardless of gender.
I’ve seen it happen.
Edit: let’s keep in mind, this whole time you’re correcting a woman on a topic that you’ve yet to show any experience in, plus weren’t even present for and all you have is her perspective, and you still said it’s wrong.
MEN BAD MEN BAD MAN BAD MAN BAG
This doesn’t sound like a mansplain scenario to me, I think the guy was just happy to talk running (and also might not exist). So if a woman says they run I should say “well I’m sure you know everything there is to know about that. No need for further discussion.” ? Sounds fucking dull.
This thread is full of mountains of projection trying to explain why it’s fine and probably great that the guy in the OP did this.
But of course only one person involved in the whole post was actually there: the woman who made the tweet. Do you think that tweet is coming from someone who had to deal with a friendly-but-passionate dude explaining training techniques?
Could be, but the language of her tweet suggests annoyance.
Also your suggested response is equally obnoxious. It’s pretty simple: if she says she runs you ask more about it—“oh what kind of running do you do?”
What you definitely do not say is “you should be doing X” without asking what kind of training they already do. Seems obvious.
You can ask about experiences before launching into a 3-year training regimen, you know.
Not really. Unsolicited advice can be very condescending. You’re telling them that info because you don’t believe they know it. Just ask them how familiar they are on the topic if it’s truly from a place of passion. Cause passionate or not, if they already know the info, it’s annoying to listen to someone just spout about something you already know. And it’s worse if they just assumed you didn’t know.
Edit: also, I’d take her opinion on the situation over yours any day. She decided that it would have someone not gone over well for the guy, so I’d imagine she had a reason. You’re the one assuming she acted without reason which is truly odd.
So, tell them about yourself. They’re a stranger, they’re going to get a lot of assumptions wrong, so what? Conversations can’t begin without making some assumptions. It’s only a problem when they start to ignore what you say.
She was under the impression he wouldn’t take it well. Why would you know the situation better than her?
I mean, if the recommendations were prompted, sure. But if he just starts telling her what she should be doing without prompting, its that whole “mansplaining” thing I heard about.
Admittedly we only have her context, he could have just been passionately recounting his own routines and she may have misinterpreted it, or exaggerated for effect and humor.
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Running plans are not gendered for the most part. It’s possible some exist, but they are not common, especially amongst enthusiasts as opposed to elite athletes.
I find this hard to believe…if the guy’s doing analysis, he’d surely know who she was. He’d be a big enough “fan” of running to even start doing analysis. Man, the internet is just full of BS.
Anyway, I’ll pretend this was real and it’s kinda funny.
Absolutely not. I’ve followed plans and couldn’t tell you what the person looks like. It’s usually not about knowing a lot about the person but the popularity of the plan. And I’ve come across hers so at least in my opinion, it’s a common one. I find this no different than the countless stories Tony Hawk says that border the same concept. He just gets believed a lot more easily for whatever reason.
I’m pretty sure the venn diagram of people who give unsolicited workout advice and people who don’t pay attention to the by line is just a circle.
The expression should be “I had too much heart to tell him.” A person lacking heart would have told them, gleefully.
No, “didn’t have the heart” doesn’t mean you don’t have heart, just means you have a different kind of heart, so it works fine.
I am really having trouble believing it went down like that. Analyzing one specific runners routine is more like stalking than anything. Especially given that there is a wealth of material on high mileage plans (Pfiitzinger anyone?).
…Being inspired by a professional’s methods is not stalker behavior. If he was a stalker, you’d think he’d know what the runner looked like, yeah?
This feels very much like an /r/thathappened post
As a running enthusiast whose varied from running ~25 miles a week to having to restart from nothing, what the guy is talking about is extremely common. I’ve followed many different plans from many runners, sometimes their names are attached, sometimes not, and most of them I couldn’t tell you what they look like. I will say Olympic runners are the most common. I’ve even come across hers. Nothing about this rings as implausible to someone remotely interested in the topic. I guess I could understand from a total outsider perspective, but from someone who looks into that topic often? Absolutely plausible. I see no reason not to believe them.
Edit: the amount of stories Tony Hawk posts like this and never gets questioned also just makes me wonder a bit about why multiple people have already commented the way you did.
I’ve never come across anyone that just pulls out a training schedule when I say “I run”.
Usually there’s some follow up questions about goals, training, whatever.
But just straight up grabbing your phone and pulling out a training schedule? THAT’S the implausible part, not that he was using her training schedule.
You have no idea what the conversation is. It was boiled down to “I run.” Why are you going out of your way to assume a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t mentioned?
That’s what I read between the lines. She’s having a stab at someone who did exactly that.
I don’t see the need to tell a professional runner how to run? I also don’t see why she would hid that fact if the conversation went any further?
I also don’t see why she would hid that fact if the conversation went any further?
If she’s leaving stuff out, it’s probably because Twitter has a character limit, not because she’s trying to hide something.
You find it unlikely that someone who runs at the Olympic level would be amongst people that are likely to nerd out about their training schedules? Why? Clearly it’s something they’re passionate about. Why is it shocking they’d be around other folks passionate about it?
This feels very much like a /r/nothingeverhappens comment.
Inside you there are two wolves.
