I need sleep
Trickle them slowly enough onto the GE so they keep their value so I can sustain my membership through bonds.
Definitely on the ‘use it to assassinate billionaires and malicious politicians’ bandwagon.
One that’s done, I’m spending the rest of my life traveling to feed birds at various parks, beaches, etc.
Edit - also slightly stale is perfect for making banh mi. My lunch game is about to to kick up a notch.
Ergot farming.
Being only slightly stale isn’t an issue at all, especially when it comes to sustenance to stay alive. Setting personal gain aside, have people pay you to travel to Bumfuck, Africa. Make it rain infinite slightly stale baguettes. Solve their hunger, at least for a while, and build a composting facility to create mass amounts of compost out of tons of slightly stale baguettes. Feed their livestock tons of slightly stale baguettes.
Travel to Bumfuck, India. Make it rain infinite slightly stale baguettes. Solve their hunger, at least for a while, and build a composting facility to create mass amounts of compost out of tons of slightly stale baguettes. Feed their livestock tons of slightly stale baguettes.
I’m sure you could reach out to many impoverished countries of the world, say hey you pay for my travel, my food & lodging, and pay me $200K (or whatever they can afford) and I’ll make slightly stale baguettes rain down from the fucking sky and they’ll gladly take you up on that offer. If they’re smart.
World hunger, solved. Deserts covered with multiple feet of fertile, composted bread-soil. And as others have said, French toast & other foods forever. Plus if you work it right, you could get paid to travel the world & enrich the nations with your talent.
Enter a homeless shelter each morning. Do my thing. Walk out a richer man than I was when I walked in.
Not all gain is monetary
I assassinate people by summoning baguettes in their lungs.
We thought they would use this power to end world hunger, but it only took them 7 hours to weaponize it
Breadbane the Yeastman always rises!
So basically unlimited bread pudding, French toast, and of course capirotada!
T O A S T
Open up a breading buisness. Turn the stale bread into breading and sell it at half the price of the competition.
Elroy’s House of Croutons
I eat a lot of French toast.
My kids get breakfast on demand.
Feeding the homeless.
And if you park in the bike lane with your window open, you’re getting a very crumby backseat.
I was going to go with unlimited French Toast, but as the price of chicken eggs approaches Fabergé eggs, that may not work out.
Switching to garlic bread, croutons, and
croque madamedang it!There has to be a pretty good vegan french toast recipe somewhere for inspiration on egg replacement.
You mad genius, that could work!
A quick look shows cheap and plentiful cornstarch and ground flaxseed may do the trick! I’d eat that…
Make French toast. Oh wait eggs are too expensive. Never mind
Ah damn. They stopped the Challenge where you get 1 Million USD if you can prove you have Paranormal Powers.
I would rain down
bagelsbaguettes upon my enemies’ heads! Muhahaha.Baguettes AND bagels is too OP. Not fair.
Apparently I can’t read well the first 30 minutes of the day.
I’ll put some spicy chicken, turkey or other meat with some onions and garlic, hot out of the frying pan, maybe some hot sauce or gravy and some salad on the bread. Wrap with aluminium foil and leave it for a few minutes. Nice soft bread again…
According to wikipedia, the atmosphere has a mass of about 5.15×10^18 kg and a baguette has a minimum mass of 8×10^-2 kg
I only need to create 6.4×10^19 baguettes
Now i have to figure out how to monetize this
If you summon enough baguettes in the right spot in space, you generate enough mass to gravity-slingshot Earth into a new trajectory. Depending on what mood you’re in, you could use this to solve global warming, or send us into a collision course with the sun.
