Half white, half Filipino here. I’ve found more acceptance among non-whites than whites throughout my lifetime. Especially for family. Whites will never accept you as one of them because they believe in bullshit one-drop rules. It’s caused a lot of stress for me because I get this weird imposter syndrome where I can’t tell if I did something wrong or if whitey is just being racist.

I mostly regret not speaking any of the Filipino languages and the disconnect it’s caused, separating me from that part of myself. My Spanish is shit, but I can understand certain things more than Tagalog (where I understand nothing at all). But in the Philippines, Spanish is the language of former oppressors, so AFAIK it’s fallen out of use. There’s so much I don’t know about the homeland because I was raised outside of it among white devils.

Another struggle is identifying with other minorities in the US. There’s generational trauma in my family due to colonialism, but it’s nothing like the slavery experienced by black Americans. It does have some overlap with what Native Americans went through, but then their genocide was so thorough and all-encompassing it’s not comparable. We have more in common with Latin America than we do with China and Vietnam, while also not being part of Latin America. So there’s all these groups where our problems intersect, yet those problems are different enough you can’t find the support needed (maybe I’m not phrasing this right).