You would think I would be getting stronger over time doing all this shit for the worst among us. That I would build muscles and grit and be stronger physically and mentally every day. That I would one Dat be able to carry this burden of existence.

Unfortunately I’ve never felt weaker, even though things have been chiller at my job because of the holidays being over.

I might not have anything left, but I will still charge up this hill. I will still show up and do what I must to survive. I will fight till I am ash and dust and even then I will pocketsand into the faces of those who relentlessly exploit and abuse me.

Not because life is worth living, but because maybe some day I can be free. That there is something out there I have yet to experience. To find a peace i have never known. To live a life without want or struggle. A life I have never known.

Delusional hope, I know. Maybe next life.