I’ll probably stick to asking for oat milk instead of “porridge water” or whatever the new mandated name will be. To be honest I do think calling it “milk” lets them inflate the price when it is essentially porridge water.
I’ll probably stick to asking for oat milk instead of “porridge water” or whatever the new mandated name will be. To be honest I do think calling it “milk” lets them inflate the price when it is essentially porridge water.
“thin gruel” just doesn’t have the right ring to it
Minor Figures oat milk is my favourite. Try some different brands. You’ve been given a bad one… was it cheap?
It just needs a bit of snazzy marketing.
Just call it Ultragruel or Oatfuel and write “PROTEIN” on it in big letters.
Actually, now I think about it, that only covers one section of the market.
You should also release exactly the same product with with different packaging a few times:
One with an off-brand Mr T character mascot, called “I Pity The Gruel”.
One called “Bilk : Better than Milk”.
That’s a few shelves of supermarkets covered with selling the same thing. I’m sure you can cover some more with a few like “Barista Supreme: Oat-based Cream”, “Oat Water”, “Oat Juice” and simply “Oat-based Drink”. Maybe even “Oat Blood”, for Goths and “My dad was a gruelmaker” for Keir Starmer fans.
But it gives you an excuse to say “please, sir, may I have some more”.