Imagine running downstairs excitedly not knowing that any of this is there. You trip on a thousand little bottles crashing down the stairs, getting cut, scraped and basically opened up everywhere by broken glass and every opening getting filled with Carolina Reaper, Jamaican, Thai Chili, Texas barbecue and Louisiana Gumbo hot sauce. You smash your face on a bottle of Mama’s Concentrated Habanero sauce, you’re in so much pain and get ready to scream as a combination of Hank’s Red Hot and Amanda’s Hellfire go pouring into your mouth and nose. You can’t see because a bottle of Mexican Tabasco broke on your forehead and now the mixture of your own blood and thick red sauce is slowly pouring into your eyes.
You breathe in once, scream and then pass out drowning in hot sauce, as your lifeless body goes sliding down the rest of the stairwell.
The stairwell turns into one of those rescuer death traps like monoxide filled ground tanks.
An EMT runs in, screams when the wall of pain hits his lungs. No sound escaping his lungs as he drops unconcious from shock.
Not responsing, the emergency services send in more EMTs, all of them getting instantly deliciously marinated in the fumes of hell incarnate with a hint of garlic and mango
Imagine running downstairs excitedly not knowing that any of this is there. You trip on a thousand little bottles crashing down the stairs, getting cut, scraped and basically opened up everywhere by broken glass and every opening getting filled with Carolina Reaper, Jamaican, Thai Chili, Texas barbecue and Louisiana Gumbo hot sauce. You smash your face on a bottle of Mama’s Concentrated Habanero sauce, you’re in so much pain and get ready to scream as a combination of Hank’s Red Hot and Amanda’s Hellfire go pouring into your mouth and nose. You can’t see because a bottle of Mexican Tabasco broke on your forehead and now the mixture of your own blood and thick red sauce is slowly pouring into your eyes.
You breathe in once, scream and then pass out drowning in hot sauce, as your lifeless body goes sliding down the rest of the stairwell.
The stairwell turns into one of those rescuer death traps like monoxide filled ground tanks.
An EMT runs in, screams when the wall of pain hits his lungs. No sound escaping his lungs as he drops unconcious from shock.
Not responsing, the emergency services send in more EMTs, all of them getting instantly deliciously marinated in the fumes of hell incarnate with a hint of garlic and mango
Disco Elysium shit right there lmao
quick, someone think up a quippy headline for the obituary
Hot sauce, cold death
“Local Man Accidentally Tests Ring of Fire, Loses.”
-More at 8
Hot stuff dies a cold death
Eddie Murphy’s set about falling down the stairs remade by Michael Bay.