Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

  • zephorah@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    The funniest piece is going to be seeing old followers believe it’s still the InfoWars they know and love. It took forever for people to stop eating the onion in large numbers, and it still manages to happen on occasion.

    There is opportunity here. Initially, anyway.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I think there’s always going to be that group of people. Another example: folks that didn’t notice that The Colbert Report was satire.

      • Today@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I thought Glenn Beck was satire. Watched it several times and then one day … wait, that’s not a joke?

    • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.

      They don’t change Infowars’ branding or anything but the articles become subtly liberal.

      Maybe an overt purchase is better but I really want to troll the right.

      • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        “Do your swastikas send the right message to your neighbors? Maybe try this instead…”

      • tpyo@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.

        "Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. "

        don’t change Infowars’ branding

        "Founded in 1999 … InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses.

        InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

        No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. … a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars."

        I’m absolutely not disagreeing with you; I believe the onion will continue on doing “its thing” and keeping on-brand for both entities. Do exactly what you say and publish articles either believable or outlandish enough to break through to people

      • zephorah@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        I don’t think they have to. People are going to consume it like it’s the same old. Inertia and assumption.