Not an ADHD-haver but I feel this in my bones. It took an extraordinary effort to clean my desk last night and I just finished cleaning an entire kitchen and a sidewalk than doesn’t belong to me. 😅
This is a real phenomenon
I sometimes cannot clean my own stuff, but in the same day can organize a busy work schedule, complex relationship issues, or someone else’s apartment. There’s just something that gets in the way of me using that ability on myself
You need an ADHD-bro who will help you clean your room, after you help clean theirs.
Yeah! Jobs that bros can reciprocate! There should be a word for that…
Wanna give each other a brojob?
Hey I cleaned 1 pan today! Still have a full disgusting sink but progress!
So much easier to make executive decisions about stuff that holds no emotional attachments for you. Even if you’re not trashing something, the feelings distract and disrupt the function.
So maybe trade the job.
Or set aside the funds to pay someone, being careful not to shit on yourself for “I should be able to do it myself.” Some of the people who employ you should probably be able to do that themselves but hiring you is better. Pass it along.
Also featured when friends are coming over
The way I try to jumpstart this for myself is to take a picture of the place I need to clean. It gives me a fresh perspective so it’s easier for me to identify what needs to happen. Secondary benefit is it’s easier to make a before and after comparison, for that extra hit of dopamine.
I did that once and the before/after dopamine is nice. But the downside is that looking back at the after photo and realising that it looks like shit again after 10 weeks is even more depressing.
what if you deleted the picture right after getting the dopamine
It could be better, but it’s still an improvement. I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. Most people don’t even start.
the key is deliberating a set place for everything, and putting it back until it becomes habit. it turns into a dopamine hit eventually.
if you find yourself not bothering to put some items back, they probably should be moved somewhere more convenient
Nice tip, will try that!
That’s a really slick idea. Externalize it. Good thinking!
Non English native here, is roommate commonly used to refer to flatmates in english? Does “flatmates” even exist?
American English doesn’t use “flat” in this way, but the UK does have the word “flatmates.”
I vote for the introduction of the word “apartmate”.
Vs togethermates, nearmates, housemates, homemates, and yourmommates.
Yes. Housemate or roommate mean anyone who is sharing a roof with you that you mostly don’t bang
“mostly”. The optimism in this statement LOL.
Eh you gotta do it once or twice
Flatmates is used in the UK for someone who you share a flat with but have separate rooms, and roommates is used where you share a room, but not a bed, or are not in a romantic relationship with. It’s generally for places like student accommodation.
Yeah, but is it valid in American English to call someone a roommate even though each of you have a separate room?
American English yes, British English no.
I’m unsure about other English-speaking countries.
@Stamets yep!
This is me
Yes that’s pretty spot on.
Hmm… I may need this later on. I don’t know when, but I better leave that out.
Ooh! I can use this somewhere…
etc…
