He even had a note about the cost of a sex worker he had hired (who, in his opinion at least, had been too expensive; when questioned he responded that he had intended to bring this up with the relevant authorities but hadn’t got around to it yet).

The chemist

Don’t know why, but this was on my phone.

Well, uh, here’s a pun for the Germans: Für ein strahlendes Lächeln.

Best I can do for the English speakers: For a radiant smile.

No waste on the surplus