So I need to just put this somewhere. With my skin condition dramatically worsening by the day I returned to the GP, who looked as shocked as I felt. The odd little bumps/sores have become open weeping ulcers and spread over my biceps and thighs. He has taken swabs and is testing for Buruli/Bairnsdale ulcer and faxed an urgent referral to a local specialist. I feel emotionally yukky but physically there’s no pain at all, just when I sweat it stings. I’m trying to stay positive but I’m pretty depressed.
Oh my gosh how horrible. But hopefully whatever it is is fully treatable and most likely will be.
Oh fuck, that sounds really worrying. I’m glad there’s no pain but it sounds like an urgent case for sure. Fingers majorly crossed that they get back to you with a treatment asap…
Oh gosh. I hope it gets sorted out asap. ♥
hugs
Spud and I have arrived. We are at the back.
I will have to attend in spirit form only. If you hear a soft rustling of wings or a quiet “caw” , that will be me. 🙂
I’m about 15mins away. Traffic sucks
Really over the anxiety/depression :/ just deep unease all of today and now feeling really glum and dull about everything. I even walked to work in the sun this am, and work was productive, but I still felt detached and fuzzy. Cough still rattling around too. I don’t think taking a sick day is going to help as I’ll just be unsettled all day.
No suitable rentals have popped up so far on my radar. Registered interest in a couple but no updates yet.
Ugh. I managed to buy some veg on the way home, I’ll force myself to make a pasta dish and eat it and crawl into bed to dissociate on the phone for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow is a new day…
E: soxcat is still here as her human won’t be back til Monday. It’s saying something that I can’t even feel that happy around her, but she’s been snuggling up against me lots. And left a whisker on tgr couch for me - that’s good luck isn’t it?
lomg kitty whisker
Anxiety is horrible, soul destroying and crippling. But it does usually comes in waves, admittedly a wave can last a long time. Just hold on for a break in the surf where you will have a respite from the anxiety.
Thanks man. Yeah, I know in my mind that it’ll pass, even if it’s a month away, but man this is such shitty timing. Sucks being physically unwell too. I’m going to reframe my early bedtime as looking after myself and creating a sense of safety so I don’t feel like I’m spiraling. I got this. One day at a time.
Time for a nap and last low energy practice.
Here we go!!!
Thanks everyone for all your support and well wishes ❤️❤️❤️
Edit: holy fuck the rain is here!
Running 15 mins late. Be there at 8pm
Good luck!!
I guess I should get around to voting in local council elections although I really CBF. I personally think local council should be abolished, and duties transferred to a new state government department. That way all the pissy little mini contracts done by councils can all be amalgamated.
Also I need to make dinner and I am hungry, but I’m also too lazy to make it.
Well in my local elections I had a choice between a greens candidate who seemed ok if a little bland and an antivax cooker. So that made it easy.
Saw the candidate list for city of Melbourne today though. That is just BONKERS.
I’ve been having after 9pm thoughts all day about what I’d do if I don’t get this job, just because I haven’t heard back from them straight away.
I need to keep in mind these things take time and there are still over avenues open if this doesn’t come through
Yep. I applied for a niche job that I’d be perfect for and it closed a week ago, whyyyy haven’t they called me? I’m getting a bit better at detaching, something will come up when it’s meant to.
That’s how I feel sometimes. I know I can interview well too so I just need to get in the room with them and I can talk myself into the job.
You get thinking about how your life could be, apply for these jobs, then nothing happens
I have done the recruitment thing from both side and trust me - I know it sucks but it can take time!! Hold in there. Also I think it’s ok to contact to ask about progress after, say week/week and a half. If it’s a more senior or niche position it can take a bit longer to sift through.
Certainly a day of it. Almost there though.
bit more mushy compost on top then off to the physio.
Showers increasing, says the BOM app.
No they’re not, says a look out the window.
nvm here they are
I need to go and pick up my car from being serviced. It will either work out well, or I will be caught in a storm half way through my walk and come home soggy. 🤞
Good luck! I’m going to quickly take out the bins before it rains!
i survived with only slight dampness.
The afternoon sleepiness is upon me.
Coffee not helping.
2 hours of meetings on the horizon.
Grant me strength oh mighty Odin.
You have my sword
and my BlasTech DL-44
Heads will rolls, mark my words.
🐦⬛🐦⬛👁️
Mice are so cute!!! Ugh, their little paws, their little noses, their cute eyes. This course is great just for doing health checks on mice tbh
They smell and they shit everywhere. That’s why cats were invented.
Hehehe yeah it shat in my hand, but it’s cuteness made it worth it
If the rain and wind could hold off until say 9pm that’d be great. I’m meant to be doing outdoor cooking with kids this evening.
Odd question, but do ya’ll ever plan out other lives for yourself? Occasionally I’ll just sit on realestate and and look shit up. Might be like “alright, if I split with the mrs can I afford to buy a unit? where am I gonna live?” or “Fuckit, lets all move up to bright! I hate it here, alright what can we afford?”
I find it really therapeutic for some reason. These alternate lives I’ll never live out.
I’d be surprised if anyone doesn’t occasionally entertain alternative lives. Very Sliding Doors.
Pretty sure we’ve all wondered where we might be if we’d picked different doors.
I creep myself out when I go too far down that path. All of the things that have happened to me worked together to make me who I am, and at a certain point in my musings I realise that by changeing the things that happened to me I am effectively erasing myself from existance entirely.
I sometimes wonder what it’s be like to be a dog or cat when I see them.
I always thought dreams were my alternate lives in the multiverse. That’s how I look at it anyway
Frickin hope not. Cause my alternate selves die a ton and also have a bunch of orgasmless sex.
I sometimes find my daydreaming self inserting myself into works of fiction - such a Sherlock Holmes, the Vorkosiverse etc. Probably a symptom of deep psychosis.
I am OFTEN on the bridge of a warship protecting the earth. Usually heroically telling the crew to abandon ship as I fight impossible odds bravely sacrificing myself.
Good to know its not just me.
That’s so cool - what’s your battle soundtrack?!
Usually just a bunch of alarms, explosions ect. Despite the lack of sound in space it sure is a loud experience. I’m CONVINCED its linked to my anxiety cause I dissociate hard.
Looking at houses in locations I’d love to live in but can’t afford is a real one. Also, I was deeply fantasising about moving to NYC when I travelled there a couple of years back, asking people I met there about their experience in moving, even though I knew deep down that I’d never do it. It’s nice to dream!
I’ve definitely planned out what to do with large lotto wins I will never have. Looked at moving overseas or interstate. I’ve considered moving into a unit right in the centre of Melbourne so I can enjoy all the activities there, or moving to a big block of land in the middle of nowhere and fixing up a rundown place.
I think it is a healthy thing to do, as long as you are not doing it with rose-coloured glasses and making yourself unhappy with your current circumstances. If you are doing it realistically it often ends up highlighting things that are important to you - things you would miss if you made different choices, and sometimes things you really want that you are actually able to do now.
I do the lottery thing regularly. I don’t resent my current life, but love to imagine what it would be like to not worry about bills and just live life.
Personally I’d have a place in like Daylesford or similar. Trees, pond, dogs, fireplace etc.
Doing nothing would be blissful.
I had so many things I was going to do this morning, and here we are after Noon and they remain undone.
Ditto here except now it’s 4:30 :(
Where had my day gone?
wandered up to the broadbents around the corner with our garden trolley and oh my god we are gonna do so much damage at that place. Landscape supplies within a five min trolley stroll that sell shittons of good quality compost and mulch? mwah. Mwahahhaha. MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
