I’m aware that I’m worthless but still can’t turn off that libido or sexual desire and is killing me. Another thing to add to the list of failures as an male adult.

No job, own place, car, friends, virgin. Why am I even alive?

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I’m (42M) going through some of that right now, though it’s more about getting dumped. A woman I have a child with just dumped me a few weeks ago, seemingly out of nowhere (though we have a history). Everything looked promising, she just finished up her degree in nursing, getting her RN. We have a child together, and she just told me she didn’t want to have anything else to do with me, that she was going to move away and that we were through. I’d been supporting her for the past year and even helped her pass her classes by doing classwork for her. It really just feels like I was getting used and now that my usefulness is over, I’m just getting cast aside, like I meant nothing. So I’m feeling like all kinds of shit.

    So, if anything, just getting into relationships is not the end-all be-all of life, it can get just as shitty, if not shittier than just staying single. Obviously not all relationships are like that, but it can happen. Being terminally lusty is something that’s hard to overcome as a guy, being horny literally feels like a hunger, like you need it just to feel right, I’ve been there and I’ll be there again. However, given your other issues that you’re facing, you really need to buckle down and prioritize what you want in life, because being unloved and not being in a physical relationship sounds like the least of your worries.

    The sad truth is that women very likely will not find a guy attractive or “worthy” of their love and attention if the guy does not have many prospects (it may be a similar situation for other sexualities, I just know my own experiences, you can probably generalize this to most people will not find someone without prospects as particularly attractive). You didn’t say your age, so it’s hard to tell where you’re at in life. If you’re in your 20’s or younger, then your situation sounds not that uncommon or insurmountable, but again, you have to apply yourself and start hustling, you need to work on bettering yourself and your situation. If you’re in your 30’s, you probably made some mistakes along the way and your situation could be the result of some questionable decisions. Without knowing your situation, you’re probably still not in too deep of a hole to get yourself out, but it takes commitment and a real desire to change and better yourself, maybe cut out things that have been problematic for you. If you’re in your 40’s and beyond, I don’t really know what to tell you, I’m still figuring that out myself.

    I’m not sure that there’s anything I can say that makes life any more worth living, it’s a question I still find myself struggling with, more-so now than at most other points in my life. At some points in my youth though, I did try to commit suicide. Once I tried to slit my wrists, at another point I tried ingesting poison, obviously both times I failed, unless this is some weird Jacob’s Ladder shit and that’s why the world sucks so much because I’ve been dead this whole time. Both times, when I was on the precipice, I realized that I didn’t actually want to die. It was like a stupid 180, where I’d do the thing to try to kill myself and instantly realize how stupid I was being and was like, “Holy shit, I don’t want to die.”

    For me now though, I’ve got kids to think about, as much as I may hate my life and just want to end the whole stupid thing, I still need to watch out for them and hold on for their sake, I’ve had relatives that have committed suicide and I’ve seen what it does to those that get left behind and I don’t really want to do that to my kids, they deserve to at least have a father around for part of their lives.

    • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
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      1 month ago

      Dude, I’m aware that women want successful men with money and social skills. That’s my point, I’m not any of that and never will, is so much the exact opposite from me and my world. In certain parts of the world men like are “saved” by arranged marriage but that’s not my case