I know it’s not about me, but this definitelt cleared up why i run from people in my free time.

They always express how they think i do things, like i’m at work or something. While i do things for joy, i take a detour home on my roadbike because the speed i can propel myself at brings me joy and a bit of a thrill too. The scenery is also very enjoyable.

But then another roadcyclist shows up and tells me how i’m doing it all wrong, how speed isn’t a good measurement of performance.

Fuck yo performance brother, stop. It ruins my fun.

Same reason we allow rich walk over us and kill our planet, its easier to just not do anything about it. Its also hard to do anything when you dont know what to do and have nowhere to turn to for support. Sadly its group effort and price of not doing anything is hell.

Powerful and saddening. It does feel like, as an artist, everything revolves around how good others think you are. I try to go around it by only performing others people’s work, but also then, you’re dependent on those people wanting to work with you or not. Still dependent. Always dependent, as an artist, which is so so heavy.