There’s no freedom in having to do something but you’re also not free to choose your wants.

Maybe it’s better to just live and let life happen instead of thinking about what could’ve been. What ever happened is the only thing that could’ve happened.

      • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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        3 days ago

        Feeling you can and actually being able to do so are different thing.

        I’m not saying your tastes can’t change; I didn’t use to like the taste of coffee but now I do. I however didn’t choose to start liking it. My taste simply evolved over time. Now I couldn’t choose to not like it.

        What do you feel like you have the ability to change your preference about then?

        • Ezergill@lemm.ee
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          2 days ago

          I mean, you chose to taste it again when you knew you didn’t like the taste. That’s how acquired tastes work, you start liking something after repeated exposure.

          • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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            2 days ago

            Yeah, I wanted to be the kind of person that drinks coffee like everyone else around me back then. I didn’t choose that want. That desire was imposed on me from the outside.

            • Ezergill@lemm.ee
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              2 days ago

              It still was your choice, people regularly go against the societal norms and desires imposed from the outside. Like, I never started smoking, although both of my parents and a lot of my peers did.

              • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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                2 days ago

                No, I disagree. I didn’t choose not to start smoking. I simply never developed the desire to start. It’s not something I decided against my natural preferences.

                It’s besides the point anyway. Even if I could choose to do or not do something it would still be about what I want which aligns with the title of the post.

                You can’t do something you don’t want unless someone makes you do it. Even if you do something like go to the gym despite not wanting there’s a greater want behind it that’s pushing you to do it. In this case getting healthy and fit. This means you do want to go to the gym, you just don’t like it.

                • Ezergill@lemm.ee
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                  1 day ago

                  The point was to illustrate a counter-example to your coffee example and that you can control (at least some) of your wants (which you previously said that one can’t do). I would be curious to hear your definition of want (and have to, for that matter). You seem to be using it as an umbrella term that covers everything from physical urges to something a person thinks would subjectively benefit them.

                  • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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                    1 day ago

                    By have to I mean obligations. You’ve got a meeting at noon, you have to be there. You may not want to, but you have to.

                    By want I mean every other voluntary action. You’re thirsty and you open the fridge. There’s milk, water and orange juice. Say you grab the orange juice. You did that because you wanted it. To say that you could have chosen milk or water isn’t true. You didn’t want those, you wanted orange juice. If you rewind the clock and open the fridge again you’d still want the orange juice. In that moment you can’t do other than what you want. You can’t choose to not want it. It may be than in a few years you no longer like orange juice so in thay sense your wants may change but then and there in that moment you can’t act against it.

                    Even if you decide against your preferences to prove a point you’d still be acting according to your wants; you want to prove me wrong and thus you grab the water. That’s still doing what you wanted to do.

        • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I decided not to like gummy bears anymore because I was eating too much of them, and since then they always taste flat. I’ve got Debby Downer powers like Britta.

          • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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            2 days ago

            So you realized it’s not good for you and you wanted to change the habit. That perfectly aligns with the title of the post.

            • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              I knew it wasn’t good for me to start, I just used to enjoy them through the guilt until I made the conscious decision not to like them.

              • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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                2 days ago

                You didn’t just choose to not like them, though. That’s not how human psychology works.

                • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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                  2 days ago

                  I don’t know what to tell you. I decided one day that I didn’t want to like them anymore, and then I didn’t enjoy them enough to eat them from then on.