it’s really become some nastybones business in the last couple few years. Like a totalizing thing that affects most of the things I do. In the course of writing this post I’m doing repetitions and that’s just normal at this point. I frequently curate upvotes on my posts so they’re not bad numbers. It’s to the point where I have to go back and forth between tabs or closing and opening them to make sure it’s not a bad number. It’s even such that I am policing my motions with my hands so they’re not bad. Even in the body of this post, I’m counting as much as I can in service of avoiding certain numbers of sentences or repetitions of words.
Anyway, how do you all experience this disease and how do you cope with it?
I have a lot of nasty intrusive thoughts, struggle with rumination, and have a lot of worries about my memory malfunctioning or being messed with. For some reason getting medicated for ADHD massively improved my symptoms and I was able to mostly deal with the rest of the symptoms through CBT techniques. Stuff’s still there, just not as distressing anymore.
POCD
I had bad POCD for years and that shit was hell. I was considering DIY chemical castration until I got diagnosed and got some help.