Warning: do not watch this movie. This is a terrible movie. It stars no one, it’s boring, it has terrible music, and it’s only barely shot competently. The only compliment I can give it is that it’s only 55 minutes long.

Greedy locals are trying to turn some beach property into a tourist attraction, and a computer expert sets out to use is knowledge of computers–along with the help of several local “beach bunnies”–to stop them.

This movie is only for people like me who absolutely have to watch a movie called Computer Beach Party. And if you’re someone like me, you will not be disappointed.

Within the first 10 minutes, you get some of the worst acting you’ve ever seen, boobs, and a car shaped like a giant chicken.

Also, I’m going to tell my grandchildren that this was how we did social media:

There’s a hair metal band that plays all the beach parties. They are Panther. They want to be Van Halen so badly. Here is their amazing hit, Hot Rockin’ Beach Party:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj5xFOxqxcI

I’m not lying. This is an objectively horrible movie. The screenplay was written by someone who once walked past a movie theater playing a comedy movie and decided it meant they could write a comedy.