• Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      “Hi, we detected high levels of melanin in this video. This is illegal, and we are sending around trained professionals to subdue you. Please listen to this soothing music as you wait.”

      • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        “The police have been dispatched. Please lay on the floor in the ass beating receiving position and avoid any sudden movements such as sitting in your recliner or taking a nap.”