And it has all kinds of implications and context and shit.
How the fuck am I supposed to tell what’s just people doing things at random and what’s a part of all-singing-all-dancing-shit-show the neurotypicals call “social norms”? Down with NTs.
Honestly while it’s really fucking annoying that refusal to participate could result in some silly neuronormo interpreting a completely innocuous action as an offense, and it can cut you off from social shit, I think it’s basically the only way. The same button never does the same thing twice. Screeching rn.
Completely destroyed my own sanity by memorising a complex set of rules and over analysing everything to the point of mental exhaustion only to still get it wrong or be left in such an ambiguous state I can never know the true answer.
I remember years ago wondering why interaction wasn’t deterministic and asking over and over “what is wrong with me” practically to the brink of suicide. Didn’t actually figure out I was autistic until recently. Honestly the only thing that helped was becoming racist to NT’s and masking only enough to basic interactions and work related shit. I only have 1 NT friend but he’s built different and genuinely tries his best to understand me in a way that he can be accommodating to my needs.
I also had a friend who would confuse me with subtext i never understood knowing it confused me then would call me an idiot for not understanding and i just let them do this to me for years.
Grats on the autism discovery!