While she treats her dog like her “daughter” and showers it with attention, it seems that the same level of care is not extended to the cat. As someone who has never owned a cat, I believe that providing a cat tree to prevent the cat from damaging furniture, along with some toys and daily access to fresh water, would significantly improve the cat’s quality of life. Additionally, since the cat enjoys exploring the forest, having a safe space to play and roam is essential.
Today, with temperatures soaring to 30 degrees Celsius (86 degrees Fahrenheit), she told the cat, “You won’t have wet food; we have to limit it because supplies run out too quickly.” At the same time, she did not provide any water. When I inquired about this, she mentioned that the cat could drink from the dog’s bowl if it wanted. I expressed my concern that sharing a water bowl could expose the cat to different bacteria and microflora, but this upset her. When I pointed out that not providing water could be considered a form of neglect, she responded that she didn’t want to hear it in her house.
On another occasion, she became frustrated when the cat refused to eat the wet food she offered. In response, she told the cat, as if it could understand, “Now you won’t have any wet food; the bowl will be empty. You have dry food, so eat that.” She even instructed us not to give the cat any wet food as a form of punishment.
I am currently confined to the house for the next month due to an injury, and she is my stepmother. Her decision to adopt a cat seems to stem from a desire to alleviate her dog’s loneliness, which is understandable. However, I question whether simply providing food and allowing the cat to explore the forest for a couple of hours is sufficient for its well-being.
Holy crap, that’s sounds outright abusive
I feel quite uneasy when that happens, but in the same time I’m in a lost position, because I don’t own animals, so “why should anyone bother about my opinion?”.
I hate debating with her about anything, because when I question her beliefs, the atmosphere gets tense, she increases the tone and I’m pretty tired of it
Gah, honestly I’m not surprised at all she’s like that, she sounds exactly like the type.
OP may need to find some clever ways to disguise their advice.
Like feeding the cat soaked dry food as “punishment” for not eating the expensive dry food, so that step-mom at least still hydrates the cat.
Get some roast turkey from the deli counter (Boar’s Head all natural preferred, but just dont get any heavily seasoned kind), sliced as thin as possible, and sneak him a little bit every now and then. Hopefully she wont think much of it sitting in the fridge, and you can even make yourself a sandwich with it once while shes around so she really doesnt suspect anything.
My cats love their daily turkey, and it keeps them from overeating the dryfood that I free-feed them. They only eat the dry food when hungry cause they know they get their “kitten chicken” every morning 😺
Watch out for sodium levels with this, deli anything usually has elevated levels of sodium which can be devastating in cats
If OP’s not from the US, turkey might not be an option – it’s not very common in a lot of places here in Europe for example.
Might be an option to just buy cat food (after they recover from their injury) and hide it in their room if the stepmom is that controlling
Chicken is fine too.
That’s because it is
Cats should not be allowed outside any more than any other pet. If you’re up to taking it outside in a harness, then that is great.
Not sure that’s what you meant, but the idea that cats are independent enough to be allowed outside unsupervised is madness. They are an invasive species almost everywhere in the world, and likely to eventuay get themselves killed in a variety of ways.
The cat ABSOLUTELY MUST have scratching surfaces. They use scratching surfaces to peel off the outer layers of their claws as they grow, without this they will find other surfaces. If entirely prevented from doing so, the nails will get longer until they grow into their own paws.
DO NOT DECLAW THE CAT. This “medical procedure” is a mutilation that amputates the entire outermost part of each toe. Imagine cutting your fingers off at the outermost joint. IT IS NOT LIKE REMOVING JUST THE NAIL. Clawless cats can experience chronic pain and become more defensive and likely to bite without their claws as a first line of security.
Cats that have food always accessible can over-eat and become overweight. Two or three meals a day in amounts that maintain weight are recommended, but if your cat is eating in reasonable amounts on their own, may not be necessary.
A cat can starve itself quite a bit instead of eat something it doesn’t want to eat. Sitting out some meals is fine, but if it continues to the point of the cat losing weight, finding something it will eat soon is important.
An entirely dry diet wont kill a cat, provided the food is otherwise nutrionally complete. It’s not ideal, but I for example have a cat that simply won’t eat wet foods.
Hence I make sure he drinks as much as I can, and I will sometimes drench the dry food, but that meal can’t then be left out for more than an hour or so.
My concern would the combinations of refusing wet food AND water. Like what the fuck?
Not having a water bowl for the cat is not optional. Cats are extremely sensitive to dehydration, especially if eating dry food. The cat may be less inclined to drink from a shared bowl, or a bowl that has been sitting a couple hours, or if the water is the wrong temperature, or whatever. Encouraging cats to stay hydrated is very important, so any factor that might discourage drinking should be done away with.
Dogs don’t respond to punishment as well as reward, cats even less so. Cats especially do not understand temporally separated events.
If two things don’t happen at the same time, cats see absolutely no relationship between them. Not eating food one time and not getting it next time will never get connected as cause and effect in the mind of a cat.
The cat isn’t going to understand that it’s dehydrated, experience some kind of “shame”, and then eat the wet food next time. It will simply be miserable and not know why.
Making sure the cat eats a balanced diet and stays hydrated is the owners job. As desert animals they have a low thirst-drive, hence why wet food is preferred to keep them from dehydrating. Withholding that because the cat didn’t eat it one time is cruel as hell. ESPECIALLY WITHOUT A WATERBOWL FOR THE POOR THING.
If she insists on “punishing” the cat, suggest that she feed it a bit of dry food soaked in water instead of the probably expensive wet food. Cats absolutely must regularly get some water. That part is critical, otherwise you are putting it on a fast track to kidney failure.
Cats should not be allowed outside any more than any other pet. If you’re up to taking it outside in a harness, then that is great. Not sure that’s what you meant, but the idea that cats are independent enough to be allowed outside unsupervised is madness. They are an invasive species almost everywhere in the world, and likely to eventuay get themselves killed in a variety of ways.
They live in neighbourhood in forest. The house has fenced area, but while for the dog the only way go outside the fence are walks, the cat has no issues. What the cat si doing for couple hours while being outside? Nobody really knows… She brings hunted mice from the forest from time to time. I heard couple times some mewoing like it was cats argument, but this is pretty much it. Does she have fights with other cats somewhere else? Nobody knows. Sometimes she has some scratches after longer “expeditions”.
The cat ABSOLUTELY MUST have scratching surfaces. They use scratching surfaces to peel off the outer layers of their claws as they grow, without this they will find other surfaces. If entirely prevented from doing so, the nails will get longer until they grow into their own paws.
I have told them that she needs a cat tree. I even bought one for xmas, quite expensive. I got some catmint for encouragement. I tried it make the cat like it for couple days. When I was leaving I told them that they could try to the let cat accustom to this new place.
However, after some time they told me that the cat didnt quite like it, so it ended up as a flower stand. I wonder if they even tried.
A cat can starve itself quite a bit instead of eat something it doesn’t want to eat. Sitting out some meals is fine, but if it continues to the point of the cat losing weight, finding something it will eat soon is important.
She eats mice even though she gets food.
Hence I make sure he drinks as much as I can, and I will sometimes drench the dry food, but that meal can’t then be left out for more than an hour or so.
Wet food is left out for some hours and then I hear these orders “You have to eat what is there first”. I use a fork to mash it up and then she will eat eventually, but that’s me.
My concern would the combinations of refusing wet food AND water. Like what the fuck? Not having a water bowl for the cat is not optional. Cats are extremely sensitive to dehydration, especially if eating dry food. The cat may be less inclined to drink from a shared bowl, or a bowl that has been sitting a couple hours, or if the water is the wrong temperature, or whatever. Encouraging cats to stay hydrated is very important, so any factor that might discourage drinking should be done away with.
She has a bowl wet and dry food. I thought about water bowl or cat fountain, but then they will think its “unecessary accessory”.
They treat cat like a dog, that the cat will eat everything from anywhere.
Dogs don’t respond to punishment as well as reward, cats even less so. Cats especially do not understand temporally separated events. If two things don’t happen at the same time, cats see absolutely no relationship between them. Not eating food one time and not getting it next time will never get connected as cause and effect in the mind of a cat. The cat isn’t going to understand that it’s dehydrated, experience some kind of “shame”, and then eat the wet food next time. It will simply be miserable and not know why. Making sure the cat eats a balanced diet and stays hydrated is the owners job. As desert animals they have a low thirst-drive, hence why wet food is preferred to keep them from dehydrating. Withholding that because the cat didn’t eat it one time is cruel as hell. ESPECIALLY WITHOUT A WATERBOWL FOR THE POOR THING. If she insists on “punishing” the cat, suggest that she feed it a bit of dry food soaked in water instead of the probably expensive wet food. Cats absolutely must regularly get some water. That part is critical, otherwise you are putting it on a fast track to kidney failure.
My dad doesnt care at all. My stepmom treats cat like a dog and here I am, seeing this, questioning it in calm manner, she feels offended. She won’t listen to me, because I don’t have a cat or any other animal. I can only rely on some articles from web and learn from it or here now from lemmy. They don’t even bother to learn or read about these subjects. They don’t understand that they might have some obligations regarding owning the cat. They feel like its the same like owning the dog. They don’t bother, because they have own activities and don’t feel having time to learn. The cat is dog’s companion. Just like that.
She brings hunted mice from the forest from time to time.
She eats mice even though she gets food.
Sometimes she has some scratches after longer “expeditions”.
At least the cat can get hydrated by eating small game and drinking from puddles outside, and keep its claws from growing back into it’s paws by climbing things outside, but it’s only a matter of time until it gets a parasite or disease.
Please tell me she is fixed.
Wet food is left out for some hours
Wet food is no longer safe for the cat to eat after about an hour. The food needs to either get eaten when it is set out, or put in the fridge.
This cat will die an early death from disease or food poisoning. This is animal abuse. If I was treating my cat this way the local shelter would take it away and fine me. Just letting it outside would be grounds for them to take it back.
Please tell me she is fixed.
Yes she is.
Your stepmom is probably going to prematurely unalive that cat unfortunately. Cats don’t generally understand how to drink water from a bowl because it’s not normal for them as they typically get all of their water from the blood of prey they kill. If she’s not putting any water down specifically for the cat and only feeding dry food, you can guarantee the cat is going to become dehydrated.
After that it’s only a matter of time until other complications develop: https://cats.com/dehydration-in-cats
