He gets very possessive of certain people in his life, and if they need care, it doesn’t matter that he’s not helping, or even actively making things worse… only HE gets to be there. HE must supervise and monitor interactions. If you are on the phone too long with one of his people you would hear him starting to demand their attention in the background, increasingly louder, cutting midway into sentences. Of course in the first instance when something bad happens to one of those certain people he makes it all about HIMSELF. Full dramatic breakdown and whimpering and redirecting attention to himself. He’s like 79

Shockingly in the last 2-3 years has he improved to the point that I can visit my aunt and stay out late without him calling in increasingly short intervals after 6pm. And he is more restrained. It took a severe family tragedy, though. Plus realising how many people who formerly tolerated him were actively avoiding him.

Some people are beyond any meaningful change though IMO.