The kid supposedly just walked up and punched my kid in the cheek in class, and chased them with scissors just a few days ago (corroborated by the teacher).

I know shit happens, and they’re a resilient kid, so it’s not too big a deal. But I also want to raise hell to get this kid away from them. What’s the next incident going to be?

I understand the structural and societal issues here - the kid probably doesn’t have a great home life, and the school doesn’t really have anything they can do that will help him.

Idk, just feeling conflicted and looking for thoughts.

  • skizzlesEnglish
    18·
    3 months ago

    My kid starts kindergarten soon. I have already coached them on how to handle those situations.

    This probably isn’t the best solution for a lot of reasons but I don’t really care because of how I grew up getting the shit kicked out of me, and it only stopped once I started fighting back.

    I have told them if they get hit or bullied physically, to grab the other kid and beat them in their face as hard as they can.

    It happened once in daycare where another kid tried to put mine into a headlock, my kid retaliated in kind and started punching the other kid in the face until they got separated.

    Obviously this isn’t the best solutions but schools, as we see, don’t punish bullies as often as they should and the receiver of the bullying gets punished instead. I have been on the receiving end of this myself, even when I didn’t fight back.

    I’m willing to go to court over this, and have the means to fight it if I needed to. Which kinda helps my decision to teach my kid what I have.

    Now, all of that being said I have absolutely taught them that the first option no matter what is to try to walk away and find a teacher if you haven’t been physically attacked yet.

    It IS 100% THE SCHOOLS RESPONSIBILITY to handle these situations. If this is the second time, then you need to get the administrators involved if they haven’t been already. If they have, then ask them what they are going to do to ensure that the situation is handled and doesn’t happen again.

    If it happens again after that, go above the local administration to the school board. Do some research find out who the chain of command is and start following it up if necessary. Try to make communication over email, or document everything, have a paper trail, ask for copies of the procedures they are taking, make them physically provide you with an outline or plan of what they are going to do. Put their backs up against a wall so they understand that you are determined to hold them accountable for how they handle the situation.

    I know the other child may not have the best situation, but you unfortunately don’t know if that is or isn’t the case, and your priority is your child first. It can be a bit painful to think about, but the reality is that you want to protect your child.

    But for the extreme situations, teach or have someone teach your child how to defend themselves.

    • RedWizard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      9·
      3 months ago

      My kids are not yet school age, and it will be a little different for them because I work (not as a teacher) in the school system they will be going to, but:

      Now, all of that being said I have absolutely taught them that the first option no matter what is to try to walk away and find a teacher if you haven’t been physically attacked yet.

      This has always been in my mind as the first step.

      1. Tell an adult what happened. See how they handle the situation.
      2. If the kid does it again, say you want to go to the office and talk to the principal / vice principal.
      3. If the kid still continues, then you have used up the options the school has presented you, and the only thing left to do is defend yourself in kind. Make it clear that this has been an issue you’ve tried to get solved.

      My experience growing up taught me that if I did nothing, I would just be abused by kids who knew I would let them. It wasn’t until high school that I started getting aggressive in return. It helped that I had the support of a good friend at the time, willing to also get aggressive on my behalf.

      Once I was no longer a “soft target”, I got picked on less. Blowfish are not aggressive, but they are prickly for a reason. Be prickly like the blowfish, make yourself an undesirable target.

      The other side of this coin though is that, as I have gotten older, I’ve become far less confrontational, and will try and deescalate an escalating situation.