you’re a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn’t been for all too long. you also don’t know what a jesus is.

scratch that, you’re a goblin now.

what do you do?

current status:

level 1 goblin

hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)

stealth: 3

shenanigans: 1

status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)

atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)

inventory

Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)

Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)

1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It’s not a bomb.

10 ounces of saltpeter

notes

location: outside of castle

drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.

      • daniyeg [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        that’s fine then i search around for some brimstone one of the locals should have some. also i said saltpetre not table salt, it’s fine though. i go back to the spot where i peed (which is conveniently marked by the weiner drawing) and dig. there should be some urine deposits there that have turned into saltpetre.

        • hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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          3 months ago

          You walk up to the lady at the dennis and ask her if they have any brimstone.

          Given that you just rolled a 20, she said that she just has some that you can have (it’s stinky and she doesn’t want it).

          +3 Chunks of Brimstone

          You exit the dennis and head back to the castle.

          you approach the weiner drawing, but there’s two guards patrolling the area.

          • daniyeg [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            3 months ago

            ask the guards if you can use the pissing area. if they accept dig whatever place they point to and extract some saltpetre.

            • hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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              3 months ago

              I SWEAR TO GOD. I AM NOT INFLATING THE AMOUNT OF 20S. THIS IS THE THIRD 20 I ROLLED.

              Guard: “Why, of course, Gobby the Goblin! You can use the pissing area that’s helpfully marked.”

              You dig up 10 ounces of perfectly intact saltpeter.